My Dog Won at Monopoly – A Tale of Unlikely Fortune
Headline:
My Dog Won at Monopoly – A Tale of Unlikely Fortune
Sub‑header:
The local canine becomes the first four‑legged player to out‑buy a grandad, a real estate mogul, and the local boss in a single afternoon.
A Furry Fortune Manager
In an unforgettable romp that had the whole neighbourhood saying “You’ve got to be barking up the wrong tree,” Baxter, a three‑year‑old Border Collie, won a game of Monopoly against his human grandad, Dan, and the office boss, Mrs. Whitmore. No one quite knows how the game turned into a pup‑powered spectacle – except one witness, Mrs. Davies, who insisted that Baxter heard the dice and, with a theatrical growl, gave a decisive rattle of the plastic balls.
“First the “treats” trick,” says Dan. “Then, before I could even say ‘Free Parking’, my dog was bulldozing my little house into a five‑property developer. All I can say is that my granddad was stunned, and my gold‑plated tax stamp was melted aside by a wagging tail.”
Baxter conveniently treated the game as an extension of his favourite practice: doggo‑solitaire – playing the board with a single paw, pinning down every snack‑filled square.
How It Unfolded
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The First Turn
Baxter mauled the first roll. The dice landed on a 10 – exactly the number needed to leap from Go to Boardwalk. The granddad didn’t have the luxury of buying a mansion until the next tax round, but Baxter already had the same idea: place a bone on Boardwalk and, oddly, the Monopoly crew declared the stone to be “free.” Because that’s exactly what a dog’s favourite call of “duh!” is. -
The Cautiously Treated Streak
With each roll, Baxter seemed to dream in terms of pure, absolute value – “Mull doled is nothing on a marble of a donut.” He batted a M&M, then a chocolate bar, and so on. By the time grandad reached his 14th turn, Baxter was holding more properties than any one of his human rivals combined. -
The Deal‑With‑Paw Division
Everyone expected a tricky “deal” between Baxter and Mrs. Whitmore, but Baxter’s paws wrote an unequivocal contract: “All to me – my bones, my snacks, everything that is edible.” But the mayor of Barksville intervened – giving the dog a voucher for a lifetime supply of biscuits. Finally, Baxter’s human comrades owed him a small portion of real money – which in the world of London is still considered what the then‑jealous granddad used to call “money that goes to waste.”
Legal Insights
The Finchley Town Hall rules have an old clause stating that “when a pet reigns supreme, the bank must give a break.” (Took a quick but accurate press release. No dog’s paws were harmed.) Not only did the board result in Baxter’s success, but his “monopoly” still fetched the top demographic: 100% of the friends invited to celebrate with him, and a widened attention to big‑room dog‑friendly finance.
The Verdict
While most people may wonder how a dog could outrun a seasoned human player, a clearer picture emerges: in the world of board‑games, if you’re fine with a bowl full of treats and your neighbour’s chess set, a well‑trained dog can win by claiming the Game of Life with nothing but a wag of the tail.
The decent news? Baxter has become an overnight celebrity not quite yet on the rabbit‑population watch lists, but he has opened the door for next time. If all the British collectors and bankers are feeling a touch threatened, simply remember: this is a game and none of those can be stopped by a wag of a tail. Everyone just needs that Boomerang the board can’t handle.
— End of field note, brought to you from the grandest Charity for Monotone-A‑Game‑All Play.
