Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st February 1993
Dilbert//1408, first published 33 years ago on Sunday 21st February 1993
Tags
dogbert digital dating service loser velveeta digitize picture hair nose tan photoshop
Official transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service."
A man enters and says, "I'm a loser. Sign me up."
Dogbert aims a camera at the man and says, "Say 'Velveeta.'"
The man smiles. Dogbert sits at a computer and says, "Now we digitize your picture for the database."
Dogbert says, "I could add some digital hair."
The man replies, "Good idea."
Dogbert says, "Maybe I should bob your nose and give you a tan."
The man says, "That's fair."
Dogbert asks, "Whiten teeth? Smooth wrinkles? Hide stomach? Thicken lips?"
The man replies, "Yes"
to all of his questions. The man looks at the final photo and says, "I look like Sandra Bernhard."
Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but you have to admit it improves your odds."
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
DOGBERT'S* DIGITAL DATING SERVICE I'M A LOSER.
SIGN ME UP.
SAY "VELVEETA." NOW WE DIGITIZE YOUR PICTURE FOR THE DATABASE.
I COULD ADD SOME DIGITAL HAIR GOOD IDEA MAYBE I SHOULD BOB YOUR NOSE AND GIVE YOU A TAN THAT'S FAIR.
WHITEN TEETH?
SMOOTH WRINKLES?
HIDE STOMACH?
THICKEN LIPS?
I LOOK LIKE SANDRA BERNHARD.
YEAH, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT IMPROVES YOUR ODDS.
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Comic Strip Title: "Velveeta"
Summary:
The comic strip revolves around Dogbert's Digital Dating Service, where a man inquires about his profile. Dogbert presents the man with a picture of Velveeta, a processed cheese product, which the man dislikes. Dogbert then suggests various enhancements to the man's profile, including:
- Digital hair
- A tan
- Whiter teeth
- Smoother wrinkles
- A thinner stomach
- Fuller lips
The man is skeptical but eventually agrees to the enhancements. When he sees his new profile picture, he is pleased with the results and decides to admit that it improves his odds. The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of online dating and the lengths people may go to present themselves in the best possible light.
generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct
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