Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 22nd January 1995

Dilbert//2108, first published 31 years ago on Sunday 22nd January 1995

Tags

protects webs prodcuts engineer pads schedule six months build prodcut play doom computer add people tiny empire eighteen months sales people irrational desire beta test technology engineering

Official transcript

Dogbert holds a pointer and stands next to the caption, "How Nature Protects Weak Products."

The caption says, "First, the engineer pads his schedule."

Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "Six months?"

Dilbert replies, "At least."

Dilbert thinks, "One month to build the product and five months to play 'Doom' on my computer."

The caption says, "Then the manager pads the schedule as a clever negotiating ploy."

The Boss tells an executive, "One year . . . Unless you add people to my tiny empire."

The caption says, "Then the vice president pads the schedule to avoid looking bad to the president."

The VP kisses the president's toes and says, "Eighteen months."

The caption says, "Meanwhile, the sales people are making up numbers because nobody tells them anything."

A man tells a woman, "Two months . . . And it solves every problem you have!"

The caption says, "This causes the customers to develop irrational desire for the product."

A woman says into the phone, "Give me the 'beta' test version in one month."

The caption says, "Thus nature disguises weak products as 'beta.'"

The woman looks at a device and says, "Cardboard? That's stupid."

Dilbert replies, "Oh . . . Then it's beta."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HOW NATURE PROTECTS WEAK PRODUCTS FIRST, THE ENGINEER PADS HIS SCHEDULE SIX MONTHS?

AT LEAST.

ONE MONTH TO BUILD THE PRODUCT AND FIVE MONTHS TO PLAY "DOOM" ON MY COMPUTER THEN THE MANAGER PADS THE SCHEDULE AS A CLEVER NEGOTIATING PLOY.

ONE YEAR... UNLESS YOU ADD PEOPLE TO MY TINY EMPIRE.

THEN THE VICE PRESIDENT PADS THE SCHEDULE TO AVOID LOOKING BAD TO THE PRESIDENT.

EIGHTEEN MONTHS MEANWHILE, THE SALES PEOPLE ARE MAKING UP NUMBERS BECAUSE NOBODY TELLS THEM ANYTHING.

TWO MONTHS... AND IT SOLVES EVERY PROBLEM YOU HAVE!

THIS CAUSES THE CUSTOMERS TO DEVELOP IRRATIONAL DESIRE FOR THE PRODUCT.

GIVE ME THE "BETA" TEST VERSION IN ONE MONTH.

-45 THUS NATURE DISGUISES WEAK PRODUCTS AS "BETA".

CARDBOARD?

THAT'S STUPID OH... THEN IT'S BETA

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Beta Test"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around a conversation between an engineer and a vice president, where the engineer is tasked with building a product within six months. However, the vice president intervenes, requesting that the sales team make up numbers to justify the project's existence. This leads to a series of absurd and humorous events, including the creation of a "beta" test version that is essentially a cardboard box.

Key Points:

• The engineer is given an unrealistic deadline to build a product.
• The vice president instructs the sales team to make up numbers to justify the project.
• The sales team creates a "beta" test version that is a cardboard box.
• The manager pokes fun at the idea of a "beta" test version being a cardboard box.
• The vice president is oblivious to the absurdity of the situation.

Humor:

The comic strip uses satire to poke fun at the absurdity of corporate bureaucracy and the tendency for managers to prioritize numbers over reality. The use of a cardboard box as a "beta" test version is a clever and humorous way to highlight the absurdity of the situation.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

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