Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 28th January 1996

Dilbert//2479, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 28th January 1996

Tags

fear of action festering cynicism lame company loyalty micromanged need help only one on earth physical abnormalities six years experince downsizing

Official transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the armrest of the chair. Dilbert says, "I need your help, Dogbert."

Dilbert carries Dogbert to the desk as he explains, "My company is downsizing. They told us to write our own job requirements then reapply for our jobs."

Dogbert asks, "Why do you want to keep working for such a lame company?"

Dilbert quips, "Loyalty!"

Dilbert and Dogbert laugh. Dogbert says, "Good one."

Dogbert says, "Okay. You must write your job requirements so you are the only one on earth who fits."

Dilbert replies, "Right."

Dogbert dictates, "The candidate must have six years experience sitting in a big box being micromanaged by a nitwit."

Dilbert adds, "The candidate must have a festering cynicism and an acquired fear of action."

Dogbert says, "Good."

Dilbert says, "That narrows it to ten thousand employees."

Dogbert says, "We'll have to focus on your physical abnormalities."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I NEED YOUR HELP, DOGBERT.

MY COMPANY IS DOWNSIZING. THEY TOLD US TO WRITE OUR OWN JOB REQUIREMENTS THEN REAPPLY FOR OUR JOBS.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO KEEP WORKING FOR SUCH A LAME COMPANY ?

LOYALTY!

HA HA GOOD ONE OKAY. YOU MUST WRITE YOUR JOB REQUIREMENTS SO YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE ON EARTH WHO FITS.

RIGHT.

THE CANDIDATE MUST HAVE SIX YEARS EXPERIENCE SITTING IN A BIG BOX BEING MICROMANAGED BY A NITWIT.

THE CANDIDATE MUST HAVE A FESTERING CYNICISM AND AN ACQUIRED FEAR OF ACTION.

GOOD.) THAT NARROWS IT TO TEN THOUSAND EMPLOYEES.

WELL HAVE TO FOCUS ON YOUR PHYSICAL ABNORMALITIES.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Candidate Must Have a Festering Cynicism and an Acquired Fear of Action"

Summary:

The comic strip features Dilbert, a character known for his sarcastic and critical views on corporate culture, in a humorous exchange with his boss Dogbert. The conversation revolves around the requirements for a new employee, which include having a festering cynicism and an acquired fear of action. Dogbert explains that this is necessary to focus on physical abnormalities, implying that the company values complacency over productivity. The exchange highlights the absurdity of corporate hiring practices and the emphasis on conformity over creativity. The comic strip pokes fun at the monotony and bureaucracy of office life, making it relatable to many readers who have experienced similar situations. Overall, the comic strip uses humor to critique the corporate culture and the absurdity of its hiring practices.

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