Cracking the Code of Cronut Addiction: An Academic Approach
Cracking the Code of Cronut Addiction: An Academic Approach
Dr Pippa McCrimmon, University of Oxford, Bourg–Le‑Côte, UK
Abstract
Cronut addiction has been described in the press as “the world‑wide craving that could topple the NHS in an instant.” In this academic‑humour piece we present a fully‑fledged, randomized, crossover, double‑blind (…theoretically) evaluation of the determinants of cronut binge‑ing. Our sample (n = 32) comprised full‑time, pastry‑eligible, pre‑World Cup England fans. The outcome variables were: (i) minutes of affection for a cronut per session and (ii) the emotional “elevated‑spirits” index (ESI). Results confirm that the cronut is a potent pleasure‑drug (p < 0.001), that twe‑int hours after a Manchester United match significantly increase consumption, and that the colour of the cronut’s glaze (gold vs. chocolate) modulates reward perception (gold > chocolate). The implication: there is a need for an “anti‑Cronut” prescription – i.e. early breakfast.
1. Introduction
The perfect pastry is partly butter, partly sugar, partly an aspect of absolute flamboyance. The cronut, conceived by Dominique Ansel in Paris in 2013, is a hybrid of a croissant‑donut, called a “croissant-donut.” It appears to have a gravitational pull toward mood‑boosting pleasures that are difficult to quantify. Previous research has only involved anecdotal pastry‑tests (Ansel 2015; British Pastry Society 2017). Here, we attempt to bring scientific rigour to the matter.
2. Methods
2.1 Design – A randomised controlled crossover design with a 48‑hour wash‑out period to minimise carry‑over effects. Participants were stratified by sex and professional cronut consumption (high vs. low), then randomly assigned to either a “gold‑glazed” or “chocolate‑glazed” condition for 7 days, followed by the alternate in the same cohort.
2.2 Participants – Thirty‑two volunteers (mean age = 29.4 y, SD = 3.9) recruited through a bake‑off forum, all prior to COVID‑19‑related lockdowns.
2.3 Measures – (a) Minute‑by‑minute cronut fondness log (self‑reported, validated here as consuming‑time indices). (b) Emotional Elevated‑Spirits Index (ESI) – a 10‑point Likert‑type questionnaire measuring mood immediately before and after each cronut. (c) Biochemical skip – dogs’ heart rates were recorded as a creative proxy for physiological arousal.
3. Results
During gold‑glazed exposures participants spent on average 10.3 ± 2.1 min of affection per session, whereas chocolate exposures yielded 8.5 ± 2.7 min (t(30) = 3.41, p = 0.0014). ESI rose from 5.2 (pre‑cronut) to 8.0 (post‑cronut) for gold; this increase was not statistically different for chocolate, t(30) = 0.88, p = 0.38. Notably, participants who watched a Manchester United match during a trial period ate 1.9 × as many cronuts as those who did not (95 % CI 1.4–2.5).
4. Discussion
These data reinforce the existing folklore: the cronut is an addictive confection capable of triggering a sustained marginal benefit to mood. That gold‑glazed glazes out‑mimics chocolate indicates a “glitter‑effect” that enhances the reward circuitry, likely mediated by the visual aspects of the pastry rather than flavour alone. An interesting side observation – when we attempted a “no‑cronut” week, a random 4 % of participants spontaneously tried to overcome the loss of the pastry by over‑eating other savoury items; the “substitution effect” should be investigated further…though we note that deploying an alternative pastry may simply introduce a new variable into the pastry equation.
5. Conclusion
The cronut is an irresistible indulgence and is best considered a minor health risk for non‑substance‑addicts. Our study suggests that a pre‑meal eating plan (i.e. breakfast of boiled eggs, tea, and appetite‑suppressing oats) could serve as first‑line “anti‑Cronut” therapy. Further research should compare different glaze pigments, delivery mechanisms (e.g. via drones), and socio‑cultural contexts (e.g. bias during public holidays). In the meantime, we submit that limiting cronut exposure to a “one‑per‑week” policy would likely yield marginal benefits to both society and the NHS.
References
[1] Ansel, D. (2015). Création de la cronut. Paris: Crêpes Press.
[2] British Pastry Society (2017). The Survey of Croissant‑Donut Consumption in the UK. London: CPS.
[3] Smith, J., & Lacey, B. (2019). Food cravings and internet fame: a cross‑country analysis. Journal of Culinary Psychology, 12(3), 112‑128.
Author Note: The authors declare no competing interests except a lifelong love of pastry.
(Disclaimer: this article is intended as a parody and should not replace actual clinical advice on pastry‑related disorders.)
