Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 14th April 1991
Dilbert//729, first published 35 years ago on Sunday 14th April 1991
Tags
dogbert dollars inventing secret better classify send space stuff kill smoking drugs open-minded
Official transcript
The strip is titled, "Dogbert's guide to your tax dollars."
A vacuum cleaner sucks up dollar bills. Dogbert says, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent? Roll the tape."
The caption says, "Inventing secret things."
Two scientists look at a device. One of them says, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it."
The caption says, "Sending secret things into space."
The other scientist says, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff."
The caption says, "Education."
A teacher says, "Sex will kill you, food will kill you, smoking will kill you, alcohol will kill you, drugs will kill you . . ."
The children sitting at their school desks look frightened. The caption says, "Art grants for things you aren't open-minded enough to appreciate."
Dilbert looks at a shoe sitting on a pedestal. The artist says, "I call it 'The Bug I Hated.'"
The caption says, "Advanced health care."
Two doctors stand next to a bed where a skeleton lies. One physician says, "You were right, Benson. X-rays and microwaves are not the same thing."
The caption says, "Paying Congress."
A senator says, "Our raises came through!"
Another says, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
DOGBERT'S GUIDE TO YOUR TAX DOLLARS DID YOU EVER WONDER HOW ALL THAT TAX MONEY GETS SPENT ?
ROLL THE TAPE.
INVENTING SECRET THINGS.
IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE MUCH, BUT IT'LL SMART LIKE CRAZY IF YOU SIT ON IT.
SENDING SECRET THINGS INTO SPACE.
MAYBE WE'D BETTER CLASSIFY IT SECRET AND SEND IT INTO SPACE WITH THE OTHER STUFF.
EDUCATION.
SEX WILL KILL YOU, FOOD WILL KILL YOU, SMOKING WILL KILL YOU, ALCOHOL WILL KILL YOU, DRUGS WILL KILL YOU ART GRANTS FOR THINGS YOU AREN'T OPEN- MINDED ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE.
I CALL IT "THE BUG I HATED." ADVANCED HEALTH CARE.
YOU WERE RIGHT, BENSON.
X-RAYS AND MICROWAVES ARE NOT THE SAME THING.
PAYING CONGRESS.
OUR RAISES CAME THROUGH!
I THINK I'LL SEND MYSELF A THANK-YOU NOTE!
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Title: "Dogbert's Guide to Your Tax Dollars"
Summary:
The comic strip is divided into eight panels, each featuring Dogbert, a white dog, and other characters. The strip pokes fun at various government agencies and their uses of tax dollars.
- Panel 1: Dogbert is shown with a sledgehammer, destroying money labeled "tax dollars." He asks, "Did you ever wonder how all that tax money gets spent?"
- Panel 2: A character responds, "Roll the tape."
- Panel 3: The tape reveals a conversation between Dogbert and a scientist, discussing the creation of "secret things."
- Panel 4: Dogbert asks, "It doesn't look like much, but it'll smart like crazy if you sit on it."
- Panel 5: The scientist replies, "Maybe we'd better classify it secret and send it into space with the other stuff."
- Panel 6: A character says, "Our raises came through!"
- Panel 7: Dogbert is shown with a speech bubble, saying, "I think I'll send myself a thank-you note!"
- Panel 8: The final panel shows Dogbert with a speech bubble, saying, "I call it 'the bug I hated.'"
The comic strip humorously highlights the perceived waste of tax dollars on unnecessary projects and the bureaucracy surrounding government spending.
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