Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 24th November 1991

Dilbert//953, first published 35 years ago on Sunday 24th November 1991

Tags

dilbert dogbert wallet money rich return owner honest sam grooper ruthless criminal divorced wife ruth reward expected slap scram gun morons

Official transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk on the sidewalk. Dilbert points ahead of them and says, "Look, Dogbert - a wallet."

Dilbert bends down, picks up the wallet and says, "It's full of money."

Dogbert shouts, "We're rich!!"

Dilbert says, "We must return it to its owner."

Dogbert shouts, "We're honest!"

Dilbert says, "His business card says 'Sam Grouper, ruthless criminal.'"

Dilbert says, "Let's hope 'ruthless' means he divorced his wife named Ruth."

The criminal answers his door with a gun in his hand. Dilbert says, "Mr. Grouper, we found your wallet. No reward is expected."

Sam points the weapon at Dilbert and says, "Hand it over. Give me your wallet too, then slap yourselves around and scram."

Dilbert's glasses are bent and his clothes are disheveled. Dogbert holds his hands up and says, "We're morons!"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

LOOK, DOGBERT-- A WALLET.

IT'S FULL OF MONEY WE'RE RICH !!

WE MUST RETURN IT TO ITS OWNER.

WE'RE HONEST!

HIS BUSINESS CARD SAYS "SAM GROOPER, RUTHLESS CRIMINAL." LET'S HOPE "RUTHLESS" MEANS HE DIVORCED HIS WIFE NAMED RUTH MR. GROOPER, WE FOUND YOUR WALLET.

NO REWARD IS EXPECTED.

HAND IT OVER. GIVE ME YOUR WALLET TOO. THEN SLAP YOURSELVES AROUND AND SCRAM.

WE'RE MORONS!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Ruthless Criminals"

Summary:

The comic strip follows the misadventures of Dogbert, a clever and manipulative dog, as he attempts to extort money from his owner, Dilbert. The story unfolds as follows:

• Dogbert convinces Dilbert to give him his wallet, claiming that he needs it to divorce his wife, Ruth.
• Dilbert agrees, but only if Dogbert returns the wallet after the divorce.
• Dogbert returns the wallet, but with a twist: he has replaced Dilbert's business card with a new one that reads "Sam Grooper, Ruthless Criminal."
• Dogbert then uses the new business card to demand money from Dilbert, threatening to "slap" him around if he doesn't comply.
• Dilbert, realizing he has been outsmarted, reluctantly hands over his wallet.
• The strip ends with Dogbert and his wife, Ruth, laughing maniacally as they walk away with Dilbert's wallet.

Throughout the strip, the characters' personalities and traits are exaggerated for comedic effect, making for a humorous and entertaining read.

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