Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 2nd February 1992

Dilbert//1023, first published 34 years ago on Sunday 2nd February 1992

Tags

dilbert suggestions report ridiculous spit woman carol assistant violent

Official transcript

Dilbert tells a woman, "Carol, If you have any suggestions on my report, let me know."

Carol looks at the document and asks, "What kind of ridiculous tripe are you pushing??"

Carol says, "I spit on your report!"

Carol lights a match and says, "I should burn it to ashes, but I won't . . ."

Carol cries, "Because I'd rather dance on your grave after people read this!"

She laughs. Carol throws the document at Dilbert and says, "Crawl back into your hole, you fly-infested bucket of dead carp!!"

Dilbert walks away as Carol shouts, "Die! Die! Die!"

Dilbert tells Wally, "Next time I'm just gonna say 'Carol, make some copies.'"

Wally says, "The secretaries here have way too much power."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CAROL, IF YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ON MY REPORT, LET ME KNOW.

WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS TRIPE ARE YOU PUSHING ??

I SPIT ON YOUR REPORT!

I SHOULD BURN IT TO ASHES, BUT I WONT...

BECAUSE I'D RATHER DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE AFTER PEOPLE READ THIS ! HA HA H HA!

CRAWL BACK INTO YOUR HOLE, YOU FLY-INFESTED BUCKET OF DEAD CARP!!

NEXT TIME I'M JUST GONNA SAY "CAROL, MAKE SOME COPIES." THE SECRETARIES HERE HAVE WAY TOO MUCH POWER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Dead Carp"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around a conversation between Dilbert and his boss, Carol, about his report. The exchange is marked by humor and absurdity, as Carol's responses become increasingly ridiculous.

• Carol's Initial Response: Carol asks Dilbert if he has any suggestions on his report, to which he replies, "Let me know."
• Carol's Ridiculous Response: Carol then asks what kind of ridiculous triple are he pushing, prompting Dilbert to respond, "I spit on your report!"
• Carol's Escalation: Carol's response becomes more absurd, with her saying she should burn it to ashes but won't, and then threatening to make copies of the report and send them to the secretaries.
• Dilbert's Frustration: Dilbert's frustration grows as Carol continues to make ridiculous demands, culminating in his exclamation, "Die, die, die!"
• Carol's Final Response: Carol's final response is to say, "Next time I'm just gonna say 'Carol, make some copies.' The secretaries here have way too much power."

Overall, the comic strip showcases the humorous and absurd nature of office politics and the challenges of working with difficult colleagues.

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