Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th October 1992

Dilbert//1275, first published 34 years ago on Sunday 11th October 1992

Tags

parent license parents old system parts brain garbanzo developed written test weed major bozos baby cries boss poor grades tutor discipline

Official transcript

A man and woman see a sign on a building that says "Parent licenses."

The man says, "We'd better check it out."

Dogbert sits at a desk. The man asks, "Why do we need a license to become parents?"

Dogbert replies, "Something had to be done."

Dogbert continues, "Under the old system, all you needed to be a parent was a few body parts and a brain the size of a garbanzo bean."

Dogbert reaches into the desk drawer and continues, "So I developed this written test to weed out the major bozos."

The woman reads, "If a baby cries, you should: A. Feed it. B. Discipline it. C. Call it 'stupid.'"

The man says, "You have to show it who's the boss."

The woman reads, "If a child gets poor grades you should: A. Tutor him. B. Discipline him. C. Call him 'stupid.'"

The man asks, "What does 'tutor' mean?"

The woman reads, "An acceptable nickname for a child is: A. Junior B. Ugly C. Stupid."

The man says, "Depends if it's a boy."

The man asks Dogbert, "Well? Can we be parents?"

Dogbert replies, "No. And you'll have to leave some body parts at the front desk."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WE'D BETTER I OUT.

PARENT LICENSES WHY DO WE NEED A LICENSE PARENTS?

SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE.

UNDER THE OLD SYSTEM ALL YOU NEEDED TO BE A PARENT WAS A FEW BODY PARTS AND A BRAIN THE SIZE OF A GARBANZO BEAN SO I DEVELOPED THIS WRITTEN TEST TO WEED OUT THE MAJOR BOZOS.

IF A BABY CRIES, YOU SHOULD : A. FEED IT B. DISCIPLINE IT C. CALL IT "STUPID" YOU HAVE TO SHOW IT WHO'S THE BOSS.

IF A CHILD GETS POOR GRADES YOU SHOULD: A. DISCIPLINE HIM C. CALL HIM "STUPID." WHAT DOES "TUTOR" MEAN?

AN ACCEPTABLE NICKNAME FOR A CHILD IS: A. JUNIOR B. UGLY C. STUPID WELL? CAN WE BE PARENTS?

DEPENDS IF IT'S A BOY.

NO. AND YOU'LL HAVE TO LEAVE SOME BODY PARTS AT THE FRONT DESK.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Parent Licenses"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around a couple seeking parent licenses, only to be met with a series of absurd and humorous challenges. The challenges include:

• Demonstrating the ability to feed, discipline, and call their child "stupid" if necessary
• Showing they can tutor their child if they receive poor grades
• Choosing an acceptable nickname for their child, with options ranging from "junior" to "ugly" and "stupid"
• Leaving body parts at the front desk

The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of licensing parents and the challenges that come with it.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

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