Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th July 1993

Dilbert//1555, first published 33 years ago on Sunday 18th July 1993

Tags

the boss dilbert dogbert ted alice award co workers

Official transcript

The Boss and Dilbert stand in front of a room of people. The Boss says, "The award for best attendance goes to Dilbert."

Dilbert says, "I'd like to thank the people who made this possible."

Dilbert continues, "First, I'd like to thank the women in the company who have rejected me over the years . . ."

Dilbert continues, "Because of them I have no germ-riddled children to infect me."

Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my co-workers for never telling me about important meetings, thus keeping my germ exposure to a minimum."

Dilbert continues, "And thanks to my boss for never assigning a project important enough to induce stress and weaken my immune system."

Dilbert continues, "But what makes this award special is that each of you had to get sick in order for me to win."

Dilbert arrives at home and says, "When you have your health, you have everything, Dogbert."

Dogbert replies, "No, you also have to gloat."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE AWARD FOR BEST ATTENDANCE GOES TO DILBERT.

I'D LIKE TO THANK THE PEOPLE WHO MADE THIS POSSIBLE.

FIRST, I'D LIKE TO THANK THE WOMEN IN THE COMPANY WHO HAVE REJECTED ME OVER THE YEARS...

BECAUSE OF THEM I HAVE NO GERM- RIDDLED CHILDREN TO INFECT ME.

AND THANKS TO MY COWORKERS FOR NEVER TELLING ME ABOUT IMPORTANT MEETINGS, THUS KEEPING MY GERM EXPOSURE TOA MINIMUM AND THANKS TO MY BOSS FOR NEVER ASSIGNING A PROJECT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO INDUCE STRESS AND WEAKEN MY IMMUNE SYSTEM.

BUT WHAT MAKES THIS AWARD SPECIAL IS THAT EACH OF YOU HAD TO GET SICK IN ORDER FOR ME TO WIN WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR HEALTH, YOU HAVE EVERYTHING, DOGBERT.

NO, YOU ALSO HAVE TO GLOAT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Award for Best Attendance"

Summary:

The comic strip features Dilbert, a bespectacled man with a distinctive appearance, receiving an award for best attendance. However, he is not pleased with the recognition and expresses his gratitude in a sarcastic manner.

• Dilbert's Reaction: Dilbert thanks his coworkers for never telling him about important meetings, thus keeping his germ exposure to a minimum. He also thanks his boss for never assigning a project important enough to induce stress and weaken his immune system.
• Sarcastic Tone: Dilbert's tone is sarcastic as he accepts the award, implying that he is not genuinely appreciative of the recognition.
• Health Concerns: Dilbert mentions that he has no germ-riddled children to infect him, and when he does have his health, he has everything, including his dog, Dogbert.
• Overall Message: The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of awards and recognition, highlighting the absurdity of the situation and Dilbert's sarcastic attitude towards it.

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