Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st August 1993

Dilbert//1569, first published 33 years ago on Sunday 1st August 1993

Tags

dilbert hospital doctor computer bed flu

Official transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. He asks, "Is it the flu?"

The doctor looks at a chart and says, "Hmm . . ."

The doctor says, "I had the computer run an economic report on the market value of your organs."

The doctor continues, "I could make thousands of dollars by selling your parts for transplants."

The doctor continues, "Of course, this is all moot unless you die in my office while under my care."

The doctor says, "But if I let you die from the flu then my malpractice insurance will go up again."

The doctor continues, "But if you live I can continue to bill you for unnecessary tests."

The doctor continues, "There's a slight economic advantage to keeping you alive . . . If you leave three pints of blood and do me a little favor."

Back at home, Dilbert lies face down on the bed. He tells Dogbert, "Then I had to wax his Jeep with my clothes."

Dogbert replies, "Apparently he didn't know what kind of fabrics you wear."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IS IT THE FLU?

HMM...

I HAD THE COMPUTER RUN AN ECONOMIC REPORT ON THE MARKET VALUE OF YOUR ORGANS.

I COULD MAKE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BY SELLING YOUR PARTS FOR TRANSPLANTS.

OF COURSE, THIS IS ALL MOOT UNLESS YOU DIE IN MY OFFICE WHILE UNDER MY CARE.

BUT IF I LET YOU DIE FROM THE FLU THEN MY MALPRACTICE INSURANCE WILL GO UP AGAIN.

BUT IF YOU LIVE I CAN CONTINUE TO BILL YOU FOR UNNECESSARY TESTS.

THERE'S A SLIGHT ECONOMIC ADVANTAGE TO KEEPING YOU ALIVE... IF YOU LEAVE THREE PINTS OF BLOOD AND DO ME A LITTLE FAVOR.

THEN I HAD TO WAX HIS JEEP WITH MY CLOTHES APPARENTLY HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF FABRICS YOU WEAR.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Economic Report on Organs"

Summary:

• The comic strip revolves around a conversation between a doctor and a patient in a hospital bed.
• The doctor presents the patient with an economic report on the market value of their organs.
• The patient is shocked to learn that their organs are worth thousands of dollars.
• The doctor explains that if the patient dies, their malpractice insurance will increase.
• The patient is hesitant to die, but the doctor offers a deal: if they leave three pints of blood, they can do the doctor a favor.
• The patient agrees, and the doctor proceeds to wax the patient's Jeep with their clothes.
• The patient is left confused and concerned about the doctor's motives.

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