Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th August 1993
Dilbert//1583, first published 33 years ago on Sunday 15th August 1993
Tags
the boss wally dilbert ted managment
Official transcript
The Boss stands behind Ted's desk and says, "Ted, you're part of the company 'right sizing' program, effective today."
Ted replies, "Thank you! It's nice to get positive feedback from the boss!"
The Boss says, "It's not feedback. I'm saying your position has been 'management adjusted.'"
Ted replies, "Sounds great! Is there a raise involved?"
The Boss says angrily, "Listen to me!! You're part of 'manager attrition' starting right now!"
Ted says, "Wow! Is that the fast-track program for managers?"
Wally tells Dilbert, "I heard that Ted got picked for the 'manager attrition' program."
Dilbert asks angrily, "Why not us?"
Dilbert and Wally stand across from the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "So unless you put us on the 'manager attrition' program too, we quit!"
The Boss thinks, "There's never a flamethrower handy when you need it."
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
TED, YOU'RE PART OF THE COMPANY "RIGHT SIZING" PROGRAM, EFFECTIVE TODAY.
THANK YOU! IT'S NICE TO GET POSITIVE FEEDBACK FROM THE BOSS!
IT'S NOT FEEDBACK.
I'M SAYING YOUR POSITION HAS BEEN "MANAGEMENT ADJUSTED'" SOUNDS GREAT!
IS THERE A RAISE INVOLVED?
LISTEN TO ME!!
YOU'RE PART OF "MANAGER ATTRITION" STARTING RIGHT NOW!
WOW! IS THAT THE FAST-TRACK PROGRAM FOR MANAGERS?
I HEARD THAT TED GOT PICKED FOR THE "MANAGER ATTRITION" PROGRAM WHY NOT 50 UNLESS YOU PUT US ON THE "MANAGER ATTRITION" PROGRAM TOO, WE QUIT!
THERE'S NEVER A FLAMETHROWER HANDY WHEN YOU NEED
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
Comic Strip Title: "Manager Attrition"
Summary:
The comic strip revolves around Ted, a manager who is part of the company's "Right Sizing" program. Despite his positive feedback from the boss, Ted is informed that he is part of the "Manager Attrition" program, which aims to reduce the number of managers in the company.
As Ted inquires about the fast-track program for managers, he is met with skepticism and confusion. The boss responds that it's not a feedback program, but rather a "management adjusted" one, implying that the company is downsizing its management positions.
Ted is then told that 50 managers will be let go unless they join the "Manager Attrition" program, which involves a raise. However, the program is described as a "flamethrower handy when you need it," suggesting that it is a way for the company to get rid of unwanted managers quickly and efficiently.
Overall, the comic strip pokes fun at the corporate world and the often confusing and ambiguous language used by managers and executives. It highlights the challenges faced by employees in navigating the complexities of company policies and programs.
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