Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 14th November 1993

Dilbert//1674, first published 33 years ago on Sunday 14th November 1993

Tags

the boss dilbert business meeting performance review

Official transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?"

Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews."

Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm."

Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality."

Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!"

Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!"

Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!"

Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!"

The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?"

Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

SO, WHAT HAVE YOU ACCOMPLISHED THIS YEAR?

I HATE PERFORMANCE REVIEWS WELL, I USED MY EMPOWERMENT TO CREATE A NEW PARADIGM.

AND I TEAMED ACROSS FUNCTIONAL BOUNDARIES TO IMPROVE QUALITY.

I DARE SAY I WAS CUSTOMER - FOCUSED AND MARKET- DRIVEN!

I PROACTIVELY FOUND EXCELLENCE IN THE MIDST OF CHAOS!

I RE-ENGINEERED MY CORE PROCESSES AND EMBRACED CHANGE!

I GIVE YOU - DILBERT - THE PERFECT EMPLOYEE!

WAS THAT SARCASM?

TO BE HONEST I DON'T KNOW EITHER

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Perfect Employee"

Summary:

This comic strip, originally published in 1993, features Dilbert, a bespectacled man with a distinctive appearance, in a conversation with his boss. The boss asks Dilbert about his accomplishments this year, to which he responds that he hates performance reviews. He then boasts about his empowerment to create a new paradigm, re-engineering core processes, and improving quality. However, when asked if he is the perfect employee, Dilbert becomes sarcastic, stating that he was customer-focused and market-driven, but was not honest about being sarcastic. The comic strip humorously highlights the absurdity of corporate speak and the tendency for employees to use buzzwords to impress their superiors.

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