Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 19th February 1995
Dilbert//2136, first published 31 years ago on Sunday 19th February 1995
Tags
boss types handy refrence hostage taker cucbicle talks ear off vigorous head noodling subnet ip addresses motivational lair mushroom qualitize paradigm inundate bonus 80 hour weeks moses perfect boss died thursday afternooon
Official transcript
The panel is titled, "Boss Types."
Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Find your boss on this handy reference."
The caption says, "Hostage taker: Traps you in your cubicle and talks your ears off."
A man stands in the doorway saying, "Blah blah."
A man at a desk says, "Ow!!"
as his ears fall off. The caption says, "Fraud: Uses vigorous head nodding to simulate comprehension."
Dilbert says, "Then we'll subnet our IP addresses."
The man next to him nods his head and says, "Oh yeah. Oh yeah."
The caption says, "Motivational Liar: Has no clue what you do but says you're the best."
A man says, "Nobody can do what you do!!"
The woman thinks, "Except a mushroom."
The caption says, "Over Promoted: Tries to mask incompetence with poor communication."
Three people sit at a conference table. A man says, "Let's qualitize our paradigm so we don't over inundate with datums."
The caption says, "Weasel: Takes credit for your hard work."
A man holding a bag of money tells a woman, "This bonus is for brilliantly forcing your staff to work 80 hour weeks."
The woman replies, "It wasn't easy!"
The caption says, "Moses: Perpetually waits for clear signals from above."
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Don't do anything important yet."
Wally replies, "Never have."
The caption says, "Perfect Boss: Dies of natural causes on a Thursday afternoon."
Alice looks at a dead body and asks, "Should we do something?"
Wally yells, "Three day weekend!"
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
BOSS TYPES FIND YOUR BOSS ON THIS HANDY REFERENCE HOSTAGE TAKER: TRAPS YOU IN YOUR CUBICLE AND TALKS YOUR EARS OFF.
BLAH BLAH Ow!!
FRAUD: USES VIGOROUS HEAD- NODDING TO SIMULATE COMPREHENSION THEN WE'LL SUBNET OUR IP ADDRESSES OH YEAH OH YEAH MOTIVATIONAL LIAR: HAS NO CLUE WHAT YOU DO BUT SAYS YOU'RE THE BEST.
NOBODY CAN DO WHAT YOU DO !!
MUSHROOM OVER PROMOTED: TRIES TO MASK INCOMPETENCE WITH POOR COMMUNICATION.
LET'S QUALITIZE OUR PARADIGM SO WE DON'T OVER INUNDATE WITH DATUMS.
WEASEL: TAKES CREDIT FOR YOUR HARD WORK THIS BONUS IS FOR BRILLIANTLY FORCING YOUR STAFF TO WORK 80 HOUR WEEKS.
IT WASN'T!
EASY!
MOSES: PERPETUALLY WAITS FOR CLEAR SIGNALS FROM ABOVE DON'T DO ANYTHING IMPORTANT YET.
NEVER HAVE PERFECT BOSS: DIES OF NATURAL CAUSES ON A THURSDAY AFTERNOON.
SHOULD WE DO SOMETHING?
THREE WEEKEND!
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
AI Analysis
The comic strip is titled "Boss Types" and features a humorous take on various boss archetypes. The strip is divided into nine panels, each depicting a different boss type, along with a brief description of their characteristics and behaviors.
Boss Types:
- Hostage Taker: Traps you in your cubicle and talks your ears off.
- Fraud: Uses vigorous head-nodding to simulate comprehension.
- Motivational Liar: Has no clue what you do but says you're the best.
- Over Promoted: Tries to mask incompetence with poor communication.
- Weasel: Takes credit for your hard work.
- Moses: Perpetually waits for clear signals from above.
- Perfect Boss: Dies of natural causes on a Thursday afternoon.
Key Takeaways:
- The comic strip pokes fun at common workplace frustrations and stereotypes.
- It highlights the absurdity of certain boss behaviors and the challenges of dealing with them.
- The strip uses humor to comment on the human side of workplace dynamics and the quirks of management.
generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct
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