Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 17th September 1995

Dilbert//2346, first published 31 years ago on Sunday 17th September 1995

Tags

calls friends erases disc drives fix the bugs glitter network premier software six months software quickprotect swears at you engineering

Official transcript

Dilbert, Wally and a woman from marketing sit at a conference table. The woman sits in front of a computer and says, "It's time for marketing to put the glitter on this software you've created."

She continues, "With my guidance this will become the premier data backup software!"

Wally says, "Bear in mind that we said it would take six months to write it."

Dilbert says, "You only gave us a month."

The woman says, "We'll fix the bugs in the next release. Tell me about the features."

Wally says, "At this point, all it does is erase your disk drive."

Dilbert adds, "Unless you're on a network."

The woman asks, "What happens if you're on a network?"

Wally replies, "It erases everybody's disk drives."

Wally continues, "And heaven help you if you have a modem . . ."

Dilbert says, "It calls all your friends and erases their PCs."

The woman says, "We'll call it 'QuikProtect.'"

Dilbert adds, "If you have a sound card it swears at you."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IT'S TIME FOR MARKETING TO PUT THE GLITTER ON THIS SOFTWARE YOU'VE CREATED WITH MY GUIDANCE THIS WILL BECOME THE PREMIER DATA BACKUP SOFTWARE!

BEAR IN MIND THAT WE SAID IT WOULD TAKE SIX MONTHS TO WRITE IT YOU ONLY GAVE US A MONTH.

WE'LL FIX THE BUGS IN THE NEXT RELEASE.

TELL ME ABOUT THE FEATURES.

AT THIS POINT ALL IT DOES IS ERASE YOUR DISK DRIVE.

UNLESS YOU'RE ON A NETWORK.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU'RE ON A NETWORK?

IT ERASES EVERYBODY'S DISK DRIVES 917 AND HEAVEN HELP YOU IF YOU HAVE A MODEM...

IT CALLS ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND ERASES THEIR PCS.

WE'LL CALL IT "QuikProtect." IF YOU HAVE A SOUND CARD IT SWEARS AT YOU

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "QuikProtect: A Solution for Network Security"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around a software product called "QuikProtect," which promises to erase all disks on a network if a modem is present. The product is marketed as a solution to protect against bugs in the next release, and its creators are confident that it will be a success.

Key Points:

• QuikProtect erases all disks on a network if a modem is present.
• The product is marketed as a solution to protect against bugs in the next release.
• The creators are confident that it will be a success.
• The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of a software product that can erase all disks on a network, highlighting the potential risks and consequences of such a product.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

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