Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 26th May 1996

Dilbert//2598, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 26th May 1996

Tags

business language competetive salary increase goodbye core business lost empowered unimportant deciosns reengineering essential people person canibal hire trained people market driven balme cutsomers value employee input hour important

Official transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk. The panel is titled "Business Language Explained."

Someone says, "We have to be more competitive."

Dilbert and Wally wear barrels instead of clothing. Wally says, "Nice barrel."

Dilbert replies, "This old thing?"

The caption says, "Meaning: Say goodbye to salary increases."

Someone says, "We must focus on our core business."

The Boss feels his head and says, "Hello."

The caption says, "Meaning: We can't find our butts with both hands."

Someone says, "You are empowered."

Alice sits at her desk wearing a crown and saying, "I proclaim this to be 'Green Ink Day.'"

The caption says, "Meaning: You're the monarch of unimportant decisions."

Someone says, "We're reengineering your function."

A man and a horse are kicked out an office window. The caption says, "Meaning: Adios, Tonto, and the horse you rode in on."

Someone says, "Training is essential."

A man at a desk asks, "You were a cannibal?"

A man wearing a grass skirt and a bone in his hair replies, "I'm a people person."

The caption says, "Meaning: We're trying to hire some trained people."

Someone says, "We're market driven."

A woman doing research asks a man, "What's your favorite odor?"

The caption says, "Meaning: We blame customers for our lack of innovation."

Someone says, "We value employee input."

Dilbert tells the Boss, "Thanks for listening."

The Boss laughs hysterically. The caption says, "Meaning: We think humor is important."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

BUSINESS LANGUAGE EXFLAINED "WE HAVE TO BE MORE COMPETITIVE." NICE BARREL.

THIS OLD THING?

MEANING: SAY GOODBYE TO SALARY INCREASES.

"WE MUST FOCUS ON OUR CORE BUSINESS." HELLO "YOU ARE EMPOWERED." I PROCLAIM THIS TO BE "GREEN INK DAY." MEANING: WE CAN'T FIND OUR BUTTS WITH BOTH HANDS.

MEANING: YOU'RE THE MONARCH OF UNIMPORTANT DECISIONS "WE'RE REENGINEERING YOUR FUNCTION. " MEANING: ADIOS, TONTO, AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON.

"TRAINING IS ESSENTIAL." YOU I'M A PEOPLE WERE A PERSON CANNIBAL?

MEANING: WE'RE TRYING TO & HIRE SOME TRAINED PEOPLE.

"WE'RE MARKET DRIVEN." WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE RESEARCH ODOR?

MEANING: WE BLAME CUSTOMERS FOR OUR LACK OF INNOVATION.

"WE VALUE EMPLOYEE INPUT.

THANKS FOR LISTENING.

HA Hh: MEANING: WE THINK HUMOR IS IMPORTANT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

The comic strip is titled "Business Language Explained." It humorously highlights the absurdity of corporate jargon by showcasing employees using ridiculous phrases to describe their work. The strip consists of eight panels, each featuring a different employee and their unique phrase.

Panel 1:

• A man says, "We have to be more competitive."
• The response is, "Nice barrel. This old thing?"

Panel 2:

• A man says, "Say goodbye to salary increases."
• The response is, "This old thing?"

Panel 3:

• A man says, "Training is essential."
• The response is, "You were a cannibal? I'm a people person."

Panel 4:

• A man says, "We must focus on our core business."
• The response is, "Hello."

Panel 5:

• A man says, "You are empowered."
• The response is, "I proclaim this to be 'Green Ink Day'."

Panel 6:

• A man says, "We're reengineering your function."
• The response is, "We're trying to hire some trained people."

Panel 7:

• A man says, "We're market driven."
• The response is, "What's your favorite odor?"

Panel 8:

• A man says, "We value employee input."
• The response is, "Thanks for listening."

The comic strip pokes fun at the use of corporate jargon and the absurdity of some business language. It suggests that employees often use complex and confusing terms to sound important or impressive, but in reality, they may not always make sense or be relevant to the situation. Overall, the comic strip provides a humorous commentary on the world of business and the sometimes ridiculous language used in it.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.