Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 7th July 1996

Dilbert//2640, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 7th July 1996

Tags

performance review daughter cub girl cookies volume level downsizer low performer fast tracker united way chairperson

Official transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, "I'll be writing your performance review this afternoon."

The Boss continues, "But this morning I'm helping my daughter sell cub girl cookies."

The Boss continues, "For your shopping convenience I have assigned a name to each volume level."

Dilbert reads, "Zero to four boxes is the 'downsizer' volume . . ."

Dilbert reads, "Five to eight boxes is the 'low performer' volume level."

Dilbert writes on the order form and says, "Let's say six hundred boxes."

The Boss says, "Ahh . . . The 'fast tracker.' An excellent choice."

Dilbert asks, "What's your daughter's name?"

The Boss says, "Ooh . . . Gotta go."

Wally says, "I only bought twelve boxes. Now I'm the 'United Way' chairperson."

Dilbert says, "I just signed your name for six hundred more."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I'LL BE WRITING YOUR PERFORMANCE REVIEW THIS AFTERNOON.

BUT THIS MORNING I'M HELPING MY DAUGHTER SELL CUB GIRL COOKIES.

FOR YOUR SHOPPING CONVENIENCE I HAVE ASSIGNED A NAME TO EACH VOLUME LEVEL.

ZERO TO FOUR BOXES IS THE "DOWNSIZER" VOLUME..

FIVE TO EIGHT BOXES IS THE "LOW PERFORMER" VOLUME LEVEL.

LET'S SAY SIX HUNDRED BOXES.

... THE "FAST TRACKER." AN EXCELLENT CHOICE.

WHAT'S YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME?

...

GOTTA GO.

I ONLY BOUGHT TWELVE BOXES. NOW I'M THE "UNITED WAY" CHAIRPERSON I JUST SIGNED YOUR NAME FOR SIX HUNDRED MORE

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Volume Levels"

Summary:

The comic strip follows Dilbert, a bespectacled man with black hair, as he navigates a series of absurd situations related to volume levels.

• Dilbert is initially asked to write a performance review, but instead, he begins to discuss volume levels.
• He explains that five to eight boxes are the "low performer" volume level, while zero to four boxes are the "downsizer" volume.
• Dilbert then assigns a name to each volume level, including "Fast Tracker" and "United Way Chairperson".
• The comic strip concludes with Dilbert signing his name for six hundred more, indicating that he has reached a new volume level.

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