Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 14th July 1996

Dilbert//2647, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 14th July 1996

Tags

making personal calls stealing fist of death eighty cents talk to family bill for overtime being competetive office supplies

Official transcript

Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls."

The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice."

Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ."

Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late."

Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time."

Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me."

The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive."

Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

ACCORDING TO THIS PHONE BILL, YOU'VE BEEN MAKING PERSONAL CALLS.

THAT'S LIKE STEALING FROM THE COMPANY, ALICE MUST... CONTROL FIST... OF DEATH I SPENT EIGHTY CENTS TO TELL MY FAMILY I WAS WORKING LATE.

HERE'S A DOLLAR. THE EXTRA TWENTY CENTS IS FOR THE PERSONAL THOUGHT THAT I'M ABOUT TO HAVE ON COMPANY TIME.

MM.

AND HERE'S MY BILL FOR $40,000 IN UNPAID OVERTIME THAT THE COMPANY STOLE FROM ME.

THAT'S NOT STEALING; THAT'S BEING COMPETITIVE.

I THINK I'LL BE COMPETITIVE WITH A FEW BUSHELS OF OFFICE SUPPLIES LATER TODAY.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

The comic strip is titled "Stealing from the Company" and features Dilbert, a bespectacled man with a dark, spiky hairstyle, wearing a grey suit and tie. His boss, Alice, has a large, brown, afro-like hairstyle and is wearing a pink blazer.

The Story

The comic strip is divided into eight panels, each with a caption. The story begins with Dilbert's phone bill, which he has been making personal calls on. Alice is shown with a speech bubble saying, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Dilbert responds, "Must... control... fist... of... death..." and then says, "I spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late."

The next panel shows Alice with a thought bubble saying, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Dilbert is shown with a speech bubble saying, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me."

The final panel shows Alice saying, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive," and Dilbert responding, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."

Overall

The comic strip is humorous and satirical, poking fun at the idea of corporate greed and the absurdity of office politics. It highlights the contrast between the strict rules and regulations of the workplace and the creative ways in which employees find to get around them.

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