Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 20th October 1996

Dilbert//2745, first published thirty years ago on Sunday 20th October 1996

Tags

right on plan project bad idea senior mangement leadership widespread mockery lawyers purging gigantic failure forget mission statemnet literal interpretation

Official transcript

The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally hands the Boss a piece of paper and says, "My project is right on plan."

Wally continues, "It began last week as a bad idea from somebody in senior management."

Wally continues, "Thanks to my leadership, it is already an object of widespread mockery and derision."

Wally continues, "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had."

Wally continues, "With luck, the project will be a gigantic failure in a month."

Wally continues, "People will forget my failure and remember that I'm experienced. Promotions will follow. Yes!!"

Wally concludes, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne."

Dilbert says, "Good plan."

The Boss asks, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?"

Wally replies, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MY PROJECT IS RIGHT ON PLAN IT BEGAN LAST WEEK AS A BAD IDEA FROM SOMEBODY IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT.

THANKS TO MY LEADERSHIP, IT IS ALREADY AN OBJECT OF WIDESPREAD MOCKERY AND DERISION.

AS I SPEAK, OUR LAWYERS ARE PURGING EVERY LAST TRACE OF VALUE IT MIGHT HAVE HAD.

WITH LUCK, THE PROJECT WILL BE A GIGANTIC FAILURE IN A MONTH PEOPLE WILL FORGET MY FAILURE AND REMEMBER THAT I'M EXPERIENCED.

PROMOTIONS WILL FOLLOW.

YES!!

IN SIX MONTHS I'LL BE DATING AN EXECUTIVE SECRETARY NAMED YVONNE.

GOOD PLAN.

WALLY, HAVE YOU EVER READ OUR MISSION STATEMENT?

YEAH, BUT I DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO A LITERAL INTERPRE TATION.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "Mission Statement"

Summary:

The comic strip depicts a meeting where the CEO announces that the company will be adopting a new mission statement. However, the statement is extremely vague and open-ended, causing confusion and frustration among the employees.

Key Points:

• The CEO presents the mission statement, which reads: "As I speak, our lawyers are purging every last trace of value it might have had."
• The employees are puzzled by the statement, with one asking, "Wally, have you ever read our mission statement?"
• Another employee responds, "Yeah, but I don't subscribe to a literal interpretation."
• The CEO explains that the statement is meant to be a "gigantic failure in a month," implying that it will be a disaster.
• The employees are skeptical, with one saying, "In six months I'll be dating an executive secretary named Yvonne."
• The CEO responds, "Good plan," indicating that he is not concerned about the outcome.

Overall:

The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of corporate jargon and the tendency for companies to create overly complex and meaningless mission statements. The CEO's statement is a humorous example of how companies can prioritize appearances over substance, and how employees may not always take their mission statements seriously.

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