Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 19th January 1997

Dilbert//2836, first published 29 years ago on Sunday 19th January 1997

Tags

coaching session never returned call obstacle course unpleasant coworker blissful productivity

Official transcript

The caption says, "Office obstacle course."

Dilbert walks down the hall. He sees another man and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Phil. I never returned his call. Walk faster."

Dilbert runs into the elevator as the doors close. He thinks, "Yes!!"

Dilbert peers around a corner and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's an unpleasant co-worker who wants to be my friend."

Dilbert walks behind Wally and a woman and thinks, "The clever engineer blends with the herd to avoid detection."

Dilbert stands by Alice's desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, I owe Alice some information."

Alice's phone rings. As Alice answers the phone, Dilbert runs by her desk and thinks, "Yes!!"

Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "There's only one more obstacle between me and blissful productivity."

The Boss comes around the corner. Dilbert runs into the Boss and shouts, "My whole day is ruined!!!"

The Boss says, "It looks like you need a one-on-one coaching session."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

OFFICE OBSTACLE COURSE UH-OH, IT'S PHIL. I NEVER RETURNED HIS CALL FASTER.

WALK UH-OH, IT'S AN UNPLEASANT COWORKER WHO WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND.

THE CRAFTY ENGINEER BLENDS WITH THE HERD TO AVOID DETECTION.

UH-OH, I OWE ALICE SOME INFORMATION.

RING HELLO YES!!

THERE'S ONLY ONE MORE OBSTACLE BETWEEN ME AND BLISSFUL PRODUCTIVITY AAGH!!!

MY WHOLE DAY IS RUINED!!!

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED A ONE-ON-ONE COACHING SESSION.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.