Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 13th July 1997

Dilbert//3011, first published 29 years ago on Sunday 13th July 1997

Tags

bad advice show married divorce radio show dogbert explain dead woodchuck household tips black paint stain remover all cheese diet

Official transcript

Dogbert is hosting a radio talkshow. He sits at the microphone. He says, "You're on the radio with Dogbert's "Bad Advice Show."

How may I hurt you?"

Women on the phone asks, "My boss asked me for a date. We're both married. What should I do?"

Dogbert says, "Divorce your husband. He sounds like a loser to me."

Women says, "Yes, yes it all makes sense when you explain it that way."

Dogbert says, "Then mail a dead woodchuck to your boss with a note that says...."

Dogbert is heard over the phone. Dogbert says, "Unlike this woodchuck my love for you will never die."

Women says, "Thanks. I love your show."

Dogbert says, "Moving on to household tips, did you know that black paint is an excellent stain remover?"

Dilbert walks in with a huge black stain on his shirt. Dilbert says, "Can we talk?"

Dogbert says, "And those are just SOME of the benefits of an all-cheese diet."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOU'RE ON THE RADIO WITH DOGBERT'S "BAD ADVICE SHOW." HOW MAY I HURT YOU?

MY BOSS ASKED ME FOR A DATE. WE'RE BOTH MARRIED.

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

DIVORCE YOUR HUSBAND. HE SOUNDS LIKE A LOSER TO ME.

YES, YES, IT ALL MAKES SENSE WHEN YOU EXPLAIN IT THAT WAY.

THEN MAIL A DEAD WOODCHUCK TO YOUR BOSS WITH A NOTE THAT SAYS...

"UNLIKE THIS WOODCHUCK, MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE." THANKS.

I LOVE YOUR SHOW.

MOVING ON TO HOUSEHOLD TIPS, DID YOU KNOW THAT BLACK PAINT IS AN EXCELLENT STAIN REMOVER?

CAN TALK?

AND THOSE ARE JUST SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF AN ALL-CHEESE DIET.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Divorce, Diet, and Dead Woodchucks"

Summary:

The comic strip features Dilbert, a bespectacled white dog, engaging in a radio show called "Bad Advice Show." The show's host, a woman with brown hair, offers bizarre advice to callers. In this episode, a man asks for advice on how to hurt his wife, and the host suggests mailing a dead woodchuck to her with a note that says, "Unlike this woodchuck, my love for you will never die."

The man is skeptical but decides to follow the advice. He later returns to the show, explaining that his wife has divorced him, and he's moving on to household tips. The host recommends using black paint as an excellent stain remover, which the man tries but finds ineffective. The host then suggests an all-cheese diet, which the man is willing to try.

Overall, the comic strip pokes fun at the absurdity of the advice given on the show and the gullibility of the callers.

generated by llama-3.2-11b-vision-instruct

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.