Dilbert cartoon first published on Friday 17th October 1997

Dilbert//3107, first published 29 years ago on Friday 17th October 1997

Tags

dogbert mutual fund earnings report steal investors money compare perfromance common assumptions

Official transcript

Dogbert works at a computer. Behind him, Dilbert says, "Is it hard to write an earnings report after you steal the investor's money?"

Dogbert says, "Nah."

Dogbert says, "I'll compare my performance to the S&P 500 under a common set of assumptions."

Dilbert walks away and says, "Oh."

A woman says to her husband, "How did our Dogbert fund do?"

The husband looks at the earnings statement and says, "Ten percent better than the S&P 500 if it were also managed by an unscrupulous dog."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE DOGBERT MUTUAL FUND IS IT HARD TO WRITE AN EARNINGS REPORT AFTER YOU STEAL THE INVESTORS' MONEY?

NAH.

I'LL JUST COMPARE MY FUND'S PERFORMANCE TO THE S&P 500 UNDER A COMMON SET OF ASSUMPTIONS.

HOW DID OUR DOGBERT FUND DO?

"TEN PERCENT BETTER THAN THE S&P 500 IF IT WERE ALSO MANAGED BY AN UNSCRUPULOUS DOG!"

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "The Dogbert Mutual Fund"

Summary:

• The comic strip features Dogbert, a character known for his mischievous and manipulative nature, as the manager of a mutual fund.
• The strip showcases Dogbert's unorthodox approach to investing, which involves stealing investors' money and using it for his own gain.
• Despite his questionable methods, Dogbert's fund performs surprisingly well, leading to a debate among investors about whether his success is due to his management skills or simply good luck.
• The strip pokes fun at the idea that investors often prioritize short-term gains over long-term stability and that some managers may use unethical means to achieve success.

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