Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 19th October 1997

Dilbert//3109, first published 29 years ago on Sunday 19th October 1997

Tags

catbert evil director human resources randomly selected drug test unlucky at work hair samples one whole eyebrow lost box business

Official transcript

Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next."

Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test."

Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!"

Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love."

Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples."

Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow."

Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: THE EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES YOU'RE NEXT.

VICTIMS WALLY WALLY, YOU'VE BEEN RANDOMLY SELECTED FOR AN EMPLOYEE DRUG TEST.

RANDOMLY? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GETS PICKED EVERY WEEK?!

YOU'RE VERY UNLUCKY AT WORK. BUT I'M SURE YOU COMPENSATE BY BEING LUCKY AT LOVE.

HA HA HA HA ANYWAY... OUR NEW DRUG TEST USES HAIR SAMPLES..

TO BE SAFE, GIVE ME SIX HAIRS... AND ONE WHOLE EYEBROW.

I'LL COME BACK IN AN HOUR AND SAY I LOST THE BOX

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources"

Summary:

The comic strip features Catbert, the evil director of human resources, who is known for his cruel and humorous antics. In this particular strip, Catbert is depicted as being extremely unlucky at work, and he is compensated by being lucky at love.

Key Panels:

• Panel 1: Catbert is shown sitting at his desk, looking at a computer screen with a shocked expression.
• Panel 2: A speech bubble from the computer screen reads, "You're next."
• Panel 3: Catbert is shown standing in front of a mirror, looking at his reflection with a mixture of fear and disgust.
• Panel 4: A speech bubble from the mirror reads, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test."
• Panel 5: Catbert is shown sitting at a desk, looking at a man who is holding a hair sample.
• Panel 6: The man says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples..."
• Panel 7: Catbert is shown holding a box of hair clippings, looking at it with a mixture of horror and disgust.
• Panel 8: A speech bubble from the box reads, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow."
• Panel 9: Catbert is shown holding the box of hair clippings, looking at it with a mixture of horror and disgust.
• Panel 10: A speech bubble from Catbert reads, "I'll come back in an hour and say I lost the box."

Overall:

The comic strip is a humorous take on the idea of a cat being the evil director of human resources. It features a series of absurd and ridiculous situations, including a drug test that uses hair samples, a box of hair clippings, and a cat who is extremely unlucky at work but compensated by being lucky at love. The comic strip is a lighthearted and entertaining way to poke fun at the idea of a cat being in charge of human resources.

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