Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th March 1998

Dilbert//3249, first published 28 years ago on Sunday 8th March 1998

Tags

measurable objective technical writer measure good writing number of words compare projects to wood dogmatic babbling manager cognitive surrender

Official transcript

The Boss sits at his desk. He says, "Tina, we need to set measurable objectives for you."

Tina responds, "I'm a technical writer. How can you measure good writing?"

The Boss says, "Everything is measurable is you try hard enough."

Tina asks, "Is that your well-measured opinion?"

She continues, "Or is it the dogmatic babbling of a manager in total cognitive surrender?"

The Boss comes back with, "For example, we could measure the number of words you type."

He adds, "We'll have to subtract words you delete. That way we won't motivate the wrong behavior."

Tina is now at her desk, typing. She has written, "In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

TINA, WE NEED TO SET MEASURABLE OBJECTIVES FOR YOU.

I'M A TECHNICAL WRITER. HOW CAN YOU MEASURE GOOD WRITING?

EVERYTHING IS MEASURABLE IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH.

IS THAT YOUR WELL-REASONED OPINION?

OR IS IT THE DOGMATIC BABBLING OF A MANAGER IN TOTAL COGNITIVE SURRENDER?

FOR EXAMPLE, WE COULD MEASURE THE NUMBER OF WORDS YOU TYPE.

WE'LL HAVE TO SUBTRACT WORDS YOU DELETE.

THAT WAY WE WON'T MOTIVATE THE WRONG BEHAVIOR.

IN THIS EDITION OF TINA'S HOURLY NEWSLETTER, I COMPARE OUR PROJECTS TO VARIOUS TYPES OF WOOD

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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