Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 30th May 1999

Dilbert//3697, first published 27 years ago on Sunday 30th May 1999

Tags

change contract signed months ago hurt to ask discount clueless primary vendors acts of god poltergeists steal best

Official transcript

The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract."

Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago."

The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask."

Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?"

The boss says, "No one said it would be easy."

Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor."

Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this."

The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God"

to include poltergeists."

The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

ALICE, MAKE A FEW CHANGES TO THIS CONTRACT.

CHANGES? THIS CONTRACT WAS SIGNED MONTHS AGO IT DOESN'T HURT TO ASK YOU WANT ME TO ASK FOR A SIXTY PERCENT DISCOUNT?

NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE EASY.

YOU'RE ASKING ME TO BE A CLUELESS JERK IN FRONT OF OUR PRIMARY VENDOR PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO THIS.

AND ASK IF THEY'LL CHANGE THE PART ABOUT "ACTS OF GOD" TO INCLUDE POLTERGEISTS THAT'S WHY OUR VENDORS NEVER TRY TO STEAL OUR BEST EMPLOYEES.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Great Poltergeist Debate"

Summary:

This comic strip, originally published in, revolves around Alice's request to make changes to the contract. The conversation takes an unexpected turn when Alice asks for a 60% discount and requests to change the part about "Acts of God" to include poltergeists. The vendor is skeptical, but Alice persists, leading to a humorous exchange. The strip pokes fun at the absurdity of the situation and the vendor's frustration with Alice's demands.

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