Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 6th February 2000

Dilbert//3949, first published 26 years ago on Sunday 6th February 2000

Tags

product is defective expect delivery quality s primary goal opposite of philosophy rich philosophers swiss bank

Official transcript

Dilbert tells the Boss while handing him some documents: "My tests prove our product is defective."

While the Boss is examining the documents, Dilbert says: "Customers expect delivery tomorrow."

Handing the documents back to Dilbert, the Boss says: "Our corporate philosophy is 'Quality is our primary goal.'"

Dilbert asks: "So... you want me to delay shipment until we fix the problems?"

The Boss answers: "No."

The Boss says: "I want you to ship now so we can book the revenue."

Dilbert exclaims: "GAAA! That's the opposite of our corporate philosophy!!!"

The Boss replies: "Now you know why there aren't any rich philosophers."

Reclining on the couch at home with Dogbert, Dogbert tells Dilbert: "There used to be one, but he believed I was a Swiss bank."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MY TESTS PROVE OUR PRODUCT IS DEFECTIVE.

CUSTOMERS EXPECT DELIVERY TOMORROW.

OUR CORPORATE PHILOSOPHY IS "QUALITY IS OUR PRIMARY GOAL." 50. .. YOU WANT ME TO DELAY SHIPMENT UNTIL WE FIX THE PROBLEMS?

I WANT YOU TO SHIP NOW SO WE CAN BOOK THE REVENUE.

GAAA! THAT'S THE OPPOSITE OF OUR PHILOSOPHY!!!

NOW YOU KNOW WHY THERE AREN'T ANY RICH PHILOSOPHERS.

THERE USED TO BE ONE, BUT HE BELIEVED I WAS A SWISS BANK.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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