Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 9th June 2002

Dilbert//4803, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 9th June 2002

Tags

acquired benefits adopt program blend benefits progarm blending evil director maternity leave merger approved smokers

Official transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "The merger has been approved."

The Boss continues, "Our evil director of human resources will blend the acquired company's benefits with our own."

Alice, Dilbert, and Wally cry, "WAAA! WAAA! WAAA!"

The Boss thinks, "Apparently they know what blending means."

Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers."

The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work."

Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your program."

The other HR director responds, "Thanks."

The Boss reads the new benefits plan. He asks, "What is 'draining?' Catbert responds, "Our company called it training."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE MERGER HAS BEEN APPROVED.

OUR EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES WILL BLEND THE ACQUIRED COMPANY'S WAAA!

WAAA!

APPARENTLY THEY KNOW WHAT BLENDING MEANS.

THE BLENDING LET'S SEE... MY COMPANY OFFERS SIX MONTHS OF MATERNITY LEAVE FOR MOTHERS.

BENtrilS PROGRAM WITH OUR OWN.

WE TREAT 'EM LIKE SMOKERS. THEY HAVE TO SQUAT IN THE PARKING LOT FOR TEN MINUTES THEN GO BACK TO WORK.

THAT'S VERY EVIL THANKS WE'LL ADOPT YOUR PROGRAM.

WHAT IS "DRAINING"?

OUR COMPANY CALLED IT TRAINING.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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