Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 4th August 2002

Dilbert//4859, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 4th August 2002

Tags

meeting start with prayer fear no downsizing fist of death job skills investment protfolio doing well higher return escape clowns stew in bile business

Official transcript

Alice addresses a meeting, "If there are no objections, I'd like to start the meeting with a prayer."

Asok starts, "I'm a...."

Alice prays, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear no downsizing."

Asok starts, "But I'm..."

Alice continues praying, "For I have a fist of death and highly marketable job skills."

Alice continues praying, "But my investment portfolio isn't doing as well as I'd hoped."

Alice continues praying, "So, if it's not too much to ask..."

Alice continues praying, "I need a higher return so I can escape these clowns."

Alice exclaims, "And live in splendor while they stew in their own bile!"

After the prayer, The Boss responds, "Maybe we won't do this again."

Alice responds, "Whatever you say, heathen."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IF THERE ARE NO OBJECTIONS, I'D LIKE TO START THE MEETING WITH A PRAYER.

YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF IDIOTS, I SHALL FEAR NO DOWNSIZING.

FOR I HAVE A FIST OF DEATH, AND HIGHLY MARKETABLE JOB SKILLS.

BUT MY INVESTMENT PORTFOLIO ISN'T DOING AS WELL AS I'D HOPED.

50, IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK..

bUT I'M.

I NEED A HIGHER RETURN SO I CAN ESCAPE THESE CLOWNS. .

AND LIVE IN SPLENDOR WHILE THEY STEW IN THEIR OWN BILE!

MAYBE WE WON'T DO THIS AGAIN.

WHATEVER YOU SAY, HEATHEN.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Heathen Investment"

Summary:

The comic strip features Dilbert, a bespectacled and balding man, sitting in a meeting with a group of people. The woman in the pink jacket is trying to convince Dilbert to invest in her company, but he is hesitant due to his fear of downsizing and his desire to live in splendor. The woman becomes increasingly frustrated and aggressive, eventually calling Dilbert a "heathen" and storming out of the meeting. The comic strip pokes fun at the absurdity of business meetings and the aggressive sales tactics used by some entrepreneurs.

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