Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th December 2005

Dilbert//6084, first published 21 years ago on Sunday 11th December 2005

Tags

billion dollar line design ecstatic massive design flaws press release proper incenives stock options underwater

Official transcript

"I told our CEO that the design would be done in a month. He's ecstatic!"

"That would be good except that I told you it won't be done for six months."

"Ooh."

"So, I guess you'll have to tell him."

"It's too late."

"He's already issued a press release. You'll have to finish the design in a month."

"The only way to do it in a month is to accept massive design flaws that will destroy a billion dollar line of business."

"That's okay. My stock options are so underwater that it won't make any difference."

"I'll just blame all of the problems on the Chinese company that manufactures our products."

"Ultimately, it's the CEO's fault for failing to give me proper incentives."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I TOLD OUR CEO THAT THE DESIGN WOULD BE DONE IN A MONTH.

HE'S ECSTATIC!

THAT WOULD BE GOOD EXCEPT THAT I TOLD YOU IT WON'T BE DONE FOR SIX MONTHS.

SO, I GUESS YOULL HAVE TO TELL HIM.

IT'S TOO LATE.

HE ALREADY ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE.

YOULL HAVE TO FINISH THE DESIGN TAI A MALITU THE ONLY WAY TO DO IT IN A MONTH IS TO ACCEPT MASSIVE DESIGN FLAWS THAT WILL DESTROY A BILLION DOLLAR LINE OF BUSINESS.

THAT'S OKAY. MY STOCK OPTIONS ARE SO UNDERWATER THAT IT WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

I'LL JUST BLAME ALL OF THE PROBLEMS ON THE CHINESE COMPANY THAT MANUFACTURES OUR PRODUCTS.

ULTIMATELY, IT'S THE CEO'S FAULT FOR FAILING TO GIVE ME PROPER INCENTIVES.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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