Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 20th December 2009

Dilbert//7554, first published seventeen years ago on Sunday 20th December 2009

Tags

plastic using borrowing germaphobe stapler

Official transcript

Woman says, "Please order a new stapler for me,"

Carol says, "Did your old one break?"

Woman says, "Only in spirit."

Woman says, "Every person who came into my cubivle picked it up and fiddled with it,"

Woman says, "At first I would wipe off the cooties and try to forget."

Woman says, "In time my stapler became imbued with sorrow and desperation of every dead-ender that fondled it."

Woman says, "I covered it with a plastic bowl and taped it to the desk so no fumes can escape."

Wally says, "If you're wondering why your chair is warm, it's because I borrowed it for a meeting."

Woman says, "What's the biggest bowl you can order?"

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

PLEASE ORDER A NEW STAPLER FOR ME.

DID YOUR OLD ONE BREAK?

ONLY IN SPIRIT.

EVERY PERSON WHO CAME INTO MY CUBICLE PICKED IT UP AND FIDDLED WITH IT.

AT FIRST I WOULD WIPE OFF THE COOTIES AND TRY TO FORGET.

IN TIME, MY STAPLER BECAME IMBUED WITH THE SORROW AND DESPERATION OF EVERY DEAD-ENDER THAT FONDLED IT.

I COVERED IT WITH A PLASTIC BOWL AND TAPED IT TO THE DESK SO NO FUMES CAN ESCAPE.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY YOUR CHAIR IS WARM, IT'S BECAUSE I BORROWED IT FOR A MEETING.

WHAT'S THE BIGGEST BOWL YOU CAN ORDER?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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