Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th September 2011

Dilbert//8184, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 11th September 2011

Tags

employees unemployed job performance fire someone cubicle fired wake up call greatness business

Official transcript

Boss: Dilbert, your job performance is terrific. Dilbert: GAAA!!! That's code for "I'm going to fire someone else and make you do two jobs."

Boss: Yes, but it's still better to be you than the guy I'm going to fire. Dilbert: We don't know that! This might be the wake-up call that spurs him on to greatness while I work myself to death in this cubicle. Boss: There's no way to please some people. Ted, you're fired. Ted: YES!

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

DILBERT, YOUR JOB PERFORMANCE IS TERRIFIC.

GAAA!!!

THAT'S CODE FOR "I'M GOING TO FIRE SOMEONE ELSE AND MAKE YOU DO TWO JOBS." YES, BUT IT'S STILL BETTER TO BE YOU THAN THE GUY I'M GOING TO FIRE.

WE DON'T KNOW THAT!

THIS MIGHT BE THE WAKE-UP CALL THAT SPURS HIM ON TO GREATNESS WHILE I WORK MYSELF TO DEATH IN THIS CUBICLE.

THERE'S NO WAY TO PLEASE SOME PEOPLE.

TED, YOU'RE FIRED.

YES!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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