Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 16th June 2013

Dilbert//8828, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 16th June 2013

Tags

interviews lying job interview exaggerate credntials more effective business skill misleading convince customers prodcuts dupe some idiot learn tech skills honesty hr send offer liar

Official transcript

Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOU LOOK GOOD ON PAPER, BUT HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN'T LYING ABOUT YOUR SKILLS?

YOU SHOULD HOPE I AM LYING.

STUDIES SHOW THAT PEOPLE WHO EXAGGERATE THEIR CREDENTIALS TEND TO BE MORE EFFECTIVE ONCE HIRED.

THAT'S BECAUSE MISLEADING PEOPLE IS A VALUABLE BUSINESS SKILL.

FOR EXAMPLE, I MIGHT NEED TO CONVINCE OUR CUSTOMERS THAT OUR PRODUCTS ARE BETTER THAN THE COMPETITION.

OR I MIGHT NEED TO DUPE SOME IDIOT INTO LEAVING MY CUBICLE SO I CAN CONCENTRATE.

ANYONE CAN LEARN TECHNICAL SKILLS, BUT LYING IS AN ART FORM.

DOESN'T HAVE AN HONEST BONE IN HIS BODY.

PERFECT.

I'LL TELL HUMAN RESOURCES TO SEND HIM AN OFFER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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