Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th September 2013

Dilbert//8912, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 8th September 2013

Tags

death & dying negotiating work ethic raise workload incentive work harder disgruntled no meaning dreams lie broken

Official transcript

Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

IF YOU FINISH YOUR PROJECT IN TWELVE MONTHS, I'LL GIVE YOU A FIVE PERCENT RAISE.

I WOULD GLADLY GIVE UP FIVE PERCENT OF MY FUTURE PAY TO AVOID A DOUBLING OF MY WORKLOAD.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. IM GIVING YOU AN INCENTIVE TO WORK HARDER.

NO, I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE CHARGING ME FIVE PERCENT OF MY FUTURE PAY TO SIT HERE AND FEEL DISGRUNTLED.

AND IT'S WORKING.

I HATE YOU MORE THAN EVER AND I NO LONGER FIND MEANING IN MY WORK.

MY DREAMS LIE BROKEN AND EMPTY BENEATH THE RUINS OF MY OPTIMISM.

I CAN'T TELL IF YOU'RE NEGOTIATING OR DYING.

IT'S A LITTLE OF BOTH.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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