Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 16th October 2016

Dilbert//10046, first published ten years ago on Sunday 16th October 2016

Tags

engagement, review, shortcut, honesty, human resources, hr, business

Official transcript

Boss: How's your employee engagement coming along? Dilbert: I'll make you a deal... I'll pretend I'm happy to be here if you pretend you believe it. Boss: I need more than that. I also want you to pretend you're loyal to the company. Dilbert: I can do that, if you pretend you're interested in my career development. Boss: Can we do all of that without talking? Dilbert: That's the best way. Boss: My job was a lot harder before I figured out all the shortcuts.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HOW'S YOUR EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT COMING ALONG?

I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

I'LL PRETEND I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE IF YOU PRETEND YOU BELIEVE IT.

I NEED MORE THAN THAT.

I ALSO WANT YOU TO PRETEND YOU'RE LOYAL TO THE COMPANY.

I CAN DO THAT, IF YOU PRETEND YOU'RE INTERESTED IN MY CAREER DEVELOPMENT.

CAN WE DO ALL OF THAT WITHOUT TALKING?

THAT'S THE BEST WAY.

MY JOB WAS A LOT HARDER BEFORE I FIGURED OUT ALL THE SHORTCUTS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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