Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 2nd July 2017

Dilbert//10305, first published nine years ago on Sunday 2nd July 2017

Tags

cpr, bragging, braggart, ego, one-up, storytelling, exaggeration

Official transcript

Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MY CPR INSTRUCTOR SAYS I WAS ONE OF HIS BEST STUDENTS.

TOPPER THAT'S NOTHING.

I'M SO GOOD AT CPR THAT MY PRACTICE DUMMY CAME TO LIFE.

HE GREW LIMBS AND GOT MARRIED TO A CRASH TEST DUMMY.

THEY HAD THREE MANNEQUINS TOGETHER AND THEY LIVE IN THE SUBURBS.

BUT THE MARRIAGE DIDN'T LAST BECAUSE THE CPR DUMMY COULD NOT FORGET THE TASTE OF MY LIPS.

I BLAME MYSELF FOR BEING IRRESISTIBLE.

WHY DO ALL OF MY CONVERSATIONS END WITH ME SITTING ALONE?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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