Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 6th August 2017

Dilbert//10340, first published nine years ago on Sunday 6th August 2017

Tags

greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health

Official transcript

Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MY CHAIR IS BROKEN. I NEED A NEW ONE.

YOU CAN TAKE TED'S CHAIR. I FIRED HIM THIS MORNING.

THAT FEELS ICKY.

IT'S JUST A CHAIR.

TED WAS A CREEPY UNDERPERFORMER.

I DON'T WANT HIS LOSER ENERGY ON ME.

THAT'S YOUR ONLY OPTION UNLESS I FIRE SOMEONE ELSE TODAY.

OKAY, GIVE ME AN HOUR TO DO SOME BACKSTABBING AND RUMOR - MONGERING.

I'LL JUST LET THAT SITUATION WORK ITSELF OUT.

NICE CHAIR.

WHY DID MY FIGHT- OR-FLIGHT INSTINCT JUST KICK IN?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.