Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 6th May 1990

Dilbert//386, first published 36 years ago on Sunday 6th May 1990

Tags

dogbert hospital directions drive driving car automobile lying sarcasm

Official transcript

Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?"

Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree."

The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?"

Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left."

The says, "Thanks!"

as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ."

Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HEY DOG! WHAT'S THE QUICKEST WAY TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL?

DRIVE AS FAST AS YOU CAN INTO THAT TREE WHAT'S THE SECOND QUICKEST WAY?

HMM... WELL, GO LEFT, THEN RIGHT, RIGHT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT, LEFT.

THANKS!

ACTUALLY, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL BUT I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK I'M A JERK

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Title: "The Quickest Way to the Hospital"

Summary:

• The comic strip features Dilbert, a white dog, asking his owner for directions to the hospital.
• The owner provides a series of left and right turns, which Dilbert finds confusing.
• Dilbert expresses frustration with the instructions, feeling that they are not helpful.
• The owner's response is that he has no idea how to get to the hospital, but Dilbert is determined to find a way.
• The comic strip ends with Dilbert walking away, seemingly undeterred by the lack of clear directions.

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