Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 26th January 1997

Dilbert//2843, first published 29 years ago on Sunday 26th January 1997

Tags

moms birthday wants nothing home entertainment theater 50 inch screen surround sound satellite link toaster oven

Official transcript

Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?"

Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need."

Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want."

His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly."

They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it."

His mom replies, "Okay."

Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials."

Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven."

Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out."

Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age."

Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR, MOM?

OH, NOTHING.

I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED.

OH, C'MON.

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING YOU WANT WELL, ONE THING.

BUT IT'S SILLY.

YOU JUST NAME OKAY.

I'D LIKE A HOME ENTERTAINMENT THEATRE WITH A FIFTY-INCH SCREEN, "THX" SURROUND SOUND AND A 600 KBPS SATELLITE LINK TO THE NET SO I CAN VIEW ADULT PICTURES DURING THE COMMERCIALS.

I WAS THINKING MORE ALONG THE LINES OF A NEW TOASTER OVEN.

OH, THAT'S EXCITING.

I'LL PUT IT NEXT TO MY OTHER ONE AND WATCH THEM FIGHT IT OUT.

THERE'S A REAL DARK SIDE TO THE INFORMATION AGE.

OH, AND ABOUT THE GIFT OF LIFE I GAVE YOU; YOU'RE WELCOME.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.