Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 9th March 1997

Dilbert//2885, first published 29 years ago on Sunday 9th March 1997

Tags

cheetah drew lines feel bad mock you morale of the story opinions mattered pure adrenaline shrunk everything sprang into action totally worthless trampoline

Official transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "You're probably wondering how my day was."

Dogbert sits on the couch reading a magazine. Dilbert says, "It was terrible . . . Until I did THIS!"

Dilbert holds up a diagram. Dilbert sits down and explains, "It all started when I deluded muself into thinking my opinions mattered."

Dilbert continues, "I sprang into action like a cheetah on a trampoline!"

Dilbert gets up and demonstrates. Dilbert continues, "I drew lines and boxes and arrows for hours. It was pure adrenaline."

Dilbert shouts, "Suddenly, trouble struck! It wouldn't fit on one page!!"

Dilbert continues, "So I shrunk everything until it was totally unreadable. And it fit!!"

Dilbert concludes, "The moral of the story is that you don't have to feel bad just because you're totally worthless."

Dogbert says, "I'd mock you but the challenge is gone."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING HOW MY DAY WAS.

IT WAS TERRIBLE.

UNTIL I DID THIS!

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I DELUDED MYSELF INTO THINKING MY OPINIONS MATTERED.

I SPRANG INTO ACTION LIKE A CHEETAH ON A TRAMPOLINE!

DREW LINES AND BOXES AND ARROWS FOR HOURS IT WAS PURE ADRENALINE SUDDENLY, TROUBLE STRUCK! IT WOULDN'T FIT ON ONE PAGE!!

SO I SHRUNK EVERYTHING UNTIL IT WAS TOTALLY UNREADABLE.

AND IT FIT!!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL BAD JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY WORTHLESS.

I'D MOCK YOU BUT THE CHALLENGE IS GONE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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