Dilbert cartoon first published on Friday 6th February 1998

Dilbert//3219, first published 28 years ago on Friday 6th February 1998

Tags

company knows about wally phone call logs web hits emails urine test college grades salary family business money

Official transcript

Catbert sits on Wally's desk holding some papers and says, "The company knows everything about you, Wally."

Catbert looks in Wally's file and says, "We have logs of all you phone calls, web hits, and e-mail. We have your urine test, college grades, salary and family contacts..."

Catbert says, "It's against our policy to kill employees and replace them with low paid impersonators, but I wanted you to know it's feasible."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT: EVIL H.R. DIRECTOR THE COMPANY KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, WALLY.

WE HAVE LOGS OF ALL YOUR PHONE CALLS, WEB HITS AND EMAIL. WE HAVE YOUR URINE TEST, COLLEGE GRADES, SALARY AND FAMILY CONTACTS...

WALLY IT'S AGAINST OUR POLICY TO KILL EMPLOYEES AND REPLACE THEM WITH LOW-PAID IMPERSONATORS, BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW IT'S FEASIBLE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

The comic strip is titled "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" and features a humorous exchange between Catbert and Wally, an employee.

Scene 1: Catbert's Introduction

• Catbert introduces himself as the company's H.R. director.
• He boasts about having access to all employees' personal information, including:
  • Phone calls
  • Web hits
  • E-mail
  • Urine tests
  • College grades
  • Salary and family contacts

Scene 2: Wally's Reaction

• Wally is shocked and concerned by Catbert's statement.
• He asks if it's feasible to kill employees and replace them with low-paid impersonators.

Scene 3: Catbert's Response

• Catbert responds that it's against the company's policy to kill employees.
• However, he leaves the door open for future possibilities.

Overall The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of corporate espionage and the blurred lines between work and personal life. It highlights the absurdity of having an H.R. director with such extensive access to employee information and the potential consequences of such actions.

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