Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 3rd January 1999

Dilbert//3550, first published 27 years ago on Sunday 3rd January 1999

Tags

human resources job interview name tubby human resources dept sent resume entrepreneur toby made up name business

Official transcript

Caption reads: "Catbert the Director of Human Resources."

Catbert stands on the table in front of a prospective applicant. He says, "So, you want a job here, Tubby?"

The man replies, "It's 'Toby.'"

Catbert looks at the sheet of paper in his hand and asks, "Did you just correct me?"

The man says, "Um..."

Catbert turns and shouts at the man, "I alone will determine your name!!"

Catbert looks at him and asks, "Now, what is your name?"

The man answers, "Tubby."

Catbert reads the paper and says, "Tubby, is it true that you're so dumb that you..."

Catbert holds out the paper and continues, "...Sent your resume to the human resources department?"

The man looks frightened as Catbert continues, "Do you think that's what this department does? Let me show you what I do."

The man is seen walking down the hall, his clothes torn into shreds and looking beaten up. The man says, "I think I just became an entrepreneur."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT THE DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES SO, YOU WANT A JOB HERE, TUBBY?

IT'S "TOBY." DID YOU JUST CORRECT ME?

UM...

I ALONE WILL DETERMINE YOUR NAME!!

IS YOUR NAME?

TUBBY.

TUBBY, IS IT TRUE THAT YOU'RE SO DUMB THAT YOU...

SENT YOUR RSUM TO THE HUMAN RESOURCES DEPARTMENT?

DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT THIS DEPARTMENT DOES?

LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I DO.

I THINK I JUST BECAME AN ENTREPRENEUR

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.