Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 31st January 1999

Dilbert//3578, first published 27 years ago on Sunday 31st January 1999

Tags

strategic plan secret trust soabotage warranty chair

Official transcript

Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan."

Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?"

The boss says, "It's a secret."

Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?"

The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees."

Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it."

The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!"

Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair."

The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

MAKE YOUR REPORT CONSISTENT WITH OUR STRATEGIC PLAN.

WHAT'S OUR STRATEGIC PLAN?

IT'S A SECRET.

ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T TRUST ?

I DON'T THINK IT'S A COINCIDENCE THAT MOST EMPLOYEE SABOTAGE IS DONE BY EMPLOYEES.

HOW CAN I DO MY REPORT IF I DON'T KNOW THE STRATEGY?!

OKAY, OKAY I'LL LET YOU GLANCE AT IT.

TIME'S UP!

THAT'S LONG ENOUGH!

THAT'S THE WARRANTY FOR YOUR CHAIR.

REALLY?

I'VE BEEN MANAGING TO THIS FOR YEARS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.