Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st March 1999

Dilbert//3627, first published 27 years ago on Sunday 21st March 1999

Tags

big dumb guy disagree lazy habitual liar excellent track record excellent work

Official transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy."

The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree."

The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar."

Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!"

The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why."

In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did."

The Boss responds, "Excellent work."

Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

ALICE, I'D LIKE YOU TO WORK WITH THIS BIG DUMB GUY.

HE DOESN'T KNOW HE'S DUMB, SO HE'LL TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE DUMB IF YOU EVER DISAGREE.

HE'S ALSO LAZY AND A HABITUAL LIAR.

THEN WHY DO YOU LET HIM WORK HERE?!

HE HAS AN EXCELLENT TRACK RECORD.

NO ONE KNOWS WHY.

LOOK WHAT I JUST DID.

EXCELLENT WORK.

REMEMBER, ALICE, YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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