Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 28th January 2001

Dilbert//4306, first published 25 years ago on Sunday 28th January 2001

Tags

projects fail have in common points to boss honest sneezes figuring the problem

Official transcript

Alice, The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Asok the Intern are all sitting around a table. The Boss says, "We've got to figure out why all our projects fail."

The Boss looks at Alice and asks, "What do all our projects have in common?"

Behind The Boss' back, Wally points with both hands at The Boss. The Boss says to Wally, "It might not be obvious."

Behind The Boss' back, Alice points with both hands at The Boss. Looking at Alice, The Boss says, "But if we're honest with ourselves..."

Behind The Boss' back, Wally holds up a piece of paper with a large arrow on it pointing at The Boss. The Boss says, "We can find the source of the problem."

Alice says, "Ah-ah-ah-"

as she begins to sneeze. Wally scratches his head with a piece of paper to the sounds of "scratch scratch."

Alice sneezes, "Ach-itz-you!!"

The Boss says, "Gesundheit."

The Boss asks, "So, does anyone know what the problem is?"

Alice looks on as Wally says to The Boss, "I've noticed that Dilbert doesn't work as hard as I think he should."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WE'VE GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHY ALL OUR PROJECTS FAIL.

WHAT DO ALL OUR PROJECTS HAVE IN COMMON?

IT MIGHT NOT BE OBVIOUS.

BUT IF WE'RE HONEST WITH OURSELVES..

WE CAN FIND THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM.

- - SCRATCH SCRATCH ACH-ITZ-YOU!!

GESUNDHEIT SO, DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS?

I'VE NOTICED THAT DILBERT DOESN'T WORK AS HARD AS I THINK HE SHOULD

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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