Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th February 2001

Dilbert//4334, first published 25 years ago on Sunday 25th February 2001

Tags

achieve goal analyze incoming email automate excellent plan online tech software throw rocks useful repsonse wear ski masks sarcas supportiveness engineering

Official transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!"

The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support."

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!"

Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan."

The Boss responds, "I know."

Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?"

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses."

Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!"

Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I HAVE AN IDEA!

WE'LL AUTOMATE OUR ONLINE TECH SUPPORT.

OUR SOFTWARE WILL ANALYZE INCOMING EMAIL AND SEND RESPONSES BASED ON KEY WORDS!

THAT'S AN EXCELLENT PLAN.

I KNOW.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ONE PERCENT OF OUR CUSTOMERS WHO ACTUALLY GET A USEFUL RESPONSE?

MAYBE WE COULD WEAR SKI MASKS AND THROW ROCKS AT THEIR HOUSES.

THEN WE COULD ACHIEVE OUR GOAL OF 100% CUSTOMER DISSATISFACTION!

WOO HOO!

MAYBE I SHOULD WORK SOMEPLACE WHERE SARCASM AND SUPPORTIVENESS ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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