Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th February 2001

Dilbert//4334, first published 25 years ago on Sunday 25th February 2001

Tags

achieve goal analyze incoming email automate excellent plan online tech software throw rocks useful repsonse wear ski masks sarcas supportiveness engineering

Official transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I have an idea!"

The Boss continues, "We'll automate our online tech support."

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Our software will analyze incoming e-mail and send responses based on key words!"

Dilbert, his tie flying up, says to The Boss, "That's an excellent plan."

The Boss responds, "I know."

Dilbert says, "But what about the one percent of our customers who actually get a useful response?"

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Maybe we could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their houses."

Dilbert says, "Then we could achieve our goal of 100% customer dissatisfaction! Whoo hoo!"

Dilbert throws his arms up in the air as The Boss watches him. Dilbert thinks to himself, "Maybe I should work someplace where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I HAVE AN IDEA!

WE'LL AUTOMATE OUR ONLINE TECH SUPPORT.

OUR SOFTWARE WILL ANALYZE INCOMING EMAIL AND SEND RESPONSES BASED ON KEY WORDS!

THAT'S AN EXCELLENT PLAN.

I KNOW.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ONE PERCENT OF OUR CUSTOMERS WHO ACTUALLY GET A USEFUL RESPONSE?

MAYBE WE COULD WEAR SKI MASKS AND THROW ROCKS AT THEIR HOUSES.

THEN WE COULD ACHIEVE OUR GOAL OF 100% CUSTOMER DISSATISFACTION!

WOO HOO!

MAYBE I SHOULD WORK SOMEPLACE WHERE SARCASM AND SUPPORTIVENESS ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Customer Dissatisfaction"

Summary:

The comic strip, originally published in 2001, revolves around the theme of customer dissatisfaction and the pursuit of 100% customer satisfaction. The storyline is presented in a series of eight panels, featuring the main character, Dilbert, and his boss, Wally.

Panel-by-Panel Breakdown:

• Panel 1: Dilbert's boss announces that they will automate their online tech support, sparking Dilbert's idea to use this opportunity to achieve 100% customer dissatisfaction.
• Panel 2: The boss expresses skepticism about the feasibility of this plan, but Dilbert persists, suggesting that they could wear ski masks and throw rocks at their customers' houses.
• Panel 3: The boss is unimpressed, but Dilbert remains determined to find a way to achieve their goal.
• Panel 4: Dilbert proposes that they analyze incoming email and send responses based on key words, which the boss finds an excellent plan.
• Panel 5: The boss is pleased with Dilbert's idea, but Dilbert reveals that he knows it won't work.
• Panel 6: Dilbert suggests that they work somewhere where sarcasm and supportiveness are different things, implying that their current workplace is not conducive to achieving their goal.
• Panel 7: The boss is perplexed by Dilbert's comment, but Dilbert remains resolute in his pursuit of 100% customer dissatisfaction.
• Panel 8: The final panel shows Dilbert sitting at his desk, looking satisfied with himself, as the boss looks on in confusion.

Overall:

The comic strip pokes fun at the idea of trying to achieve 100% customer satisfaction, highlighting the absurdity of the goal and the challenges of working in a corporate environment. Through Dilbert's antics, the strip humorously explores the complexities of customer service and the difficulties of working with a boss who may not share the same vision.

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