Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st October 2001

Dilbert//4572, first published 25 years ago on Sunday 21st October 2001

Tags

bad attitude bad news bad perfromance boss meeting downsized dump free from tyranny rational profits

Official transcript

Catbert is standing in the doorway of The Boss' office. Catbert says, "Bad news."

Catbert continues, "The employees figured out that they won't get raises next year because profits are in the dumps."

The Boss gasps. Catbert's voice continues, "And they're being rational about it."

Asok says to Wally, "We are free from the tyranny of having to work hard for raises."

Wally exclaims, "Ooh-yah!"

Wally continues, "But there's a delicate balance because we don't want to be down-sized."

Wally continues, "I figure we can either have bad attitudes or bad performance but not both."

Asok says, "I think I'll try having a bad attitude."

Wally replies, "'I'm a bad performance man myself."

Wally and Asok are sitting in The Boss' office. Wally says, "I just realized that my entire job can be done by guessing."

Asok says, "Hey, dip-weed."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

BAD NEIG THE EMPLOYEES FIGURED OUT THAT THEY WON'T GET RAISES NEXT YEAR BECAUSE PROFITS AND THEY'RE BEING RATIONAL AROLIT WE ARE FREE FROM THE TYRANNY OF HAVING TO WORK HARD FOR RAISES.

BUT THERE'S A DELICATE BALANCE BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO BE DOWNSIZED.

ARE IN THE DUMPS.

I FIGURE WE CAN EITHER HAVE BAD ATTITUDES OR BAD PERFORMANCE BUT NOT BOTH.

IT.

I THINK I'LL TRY HAVING A BAD ATTITUDE.

I'M A BAD PERFORMANCE MAN MYSELF.

OOH- YAH!!

I JUST REALIZED THAT MY ENTIRE JOB CAN BE DONE BY GUESSING.

HEY, DIP - WEED.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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