Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 3rd March 2002

Dilbert//4705, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 3rd March 2002

Tags

away from home more career advice good advice hearing it hideous commute longer hours no growth potential self loathing unhappiness

Official transcript

Dilbert is at home in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "I need career advice."

Dogbert replies, "You came to the right place."

Dilbert says, "Should I keep my comfortable job that has no growth potential?"

Dilbert continues, "Or should I take a better job with longer hours and a hideous commute?"

Dogbert answers, "The first choice is a sure path to self-loathing and unhappiness."

Dogbert continues, "The second choice will squeeze the life out of you like a vise on a peach."

Dogbert continues, "You really can't win. So I recommend the choice that keeps you away from home more."

Dogbert continues, "Because frankly - and I'll try to say this delicately - a little bit of you goes a long way."

Dogbert concludes, "That's the problem with good advice. No one wants to hear it."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I NEED CAREER ADVICE.

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

SHOULD I KEEP MY COMFORTABLE JOB THAT HAS NO GROWTH POTENTIAL?

OR SHOULD I TAKE A BETTER JOB WITH LONGER HOURS AND A HIDEOUS COMMUTE?

THE FIRST CHOICE IS A SURE PATH TO SELF-LOATHING AND UNHAPPINESS.

THE SECOND CHOICE WILL SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU LIKE A VISE ON A PEACH.

YOU CAN'T WIN.

SO I RECOMMEND THE CHOICE THAT KEEPS YOU AWAY FROM HOME MORE.

BECAUSE FRANKLY - AND I'LL TRY TO SAY THIS DELICATELY - A LITTLE BIT OF YOU GOES A LONG WAY.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH GOOD ADVICE: NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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