Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 15th September 2002

Dilbert//4901, first published 24 years ago on Sunday 15th September 2002

Tags

feasibility analysis two years obsolete project can't succeed credible in market stupid things complete waste behind schedule

Official transcript

Dilbert hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "I completed the feasibility analysis."

Dilbert continues, "It would take us two years to build a product that will be obsolete one year from now."

The Boss replies, "Okay, let's get started."

Dilbert says, "Um.. No, the point is project can't succeed."

The Boss responds, "We want people to think we're developing this sort of product, so we'll be credible in the market."

Dilbert says, "So our plan is to do stupid things until we appear credible?"

The Boss replies, "Exactly!"

Dilbert walks away and exclaims, "Gaaa!! My life is a complete waste!!"

The Boss says to Catbert, "Tomorrow I'll ask him why he's behind schedule."

Catbert responds, "Very evil. Nicely done."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I COMPLETED THE FEASIBILITY ANALYSIS.

IT WOULD TAKE US TWO YEARS TO BUILD A PRODUCT THAT WILL BE OBSOLETE ONE YEAR FROM NOW.

OKAY, LET'S GET STARTED.

UM... NO, THE POINT IS THAT THE PROJECT CAN'T SUCCEED.

WE WANT PEOPLE TO THINK WE'RE DEVELOPING THIS SORT OF PRODUCT, SO WE'LL BE CREDIBLE IN THE MARKET.

SO OUR PLAN IS TO DO STUPID THINGS UNTIL WE APPEAR CREDIBLE?

EXACTLY GAAN!! MY LIFE IS A COMPLETE WASTE!!

TOMORROW I'LL ASK HIM WHY HE'S BEHIND SCHEDULE.

VERY EVIL.

NICELY DONE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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