Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th May 2003

Dilbert//5146, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 18th May 2003

Tags

evil director human resources fired unflattering comments transferring new job living for weekend business

Official transcript

Headline: Catbert the Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert sits behind a desk and says, "Hello, head-count."

The employee asks, "Am I fired?"

Catbert responds, "No, no, no..."

Catbert says, "I'd never fire you for making unflattering comments to the press about the company."

The employee responds, "Really? Everyone said you're evil."

Catbert responds, "Heh, heh, thank you."

He pauses and then continues, "But all I'm doing is transferring you to a new job."

The employee says, "Gee, that doesn't sound bad."

He pauses and then asks, "What is it?"

Catbert says, "Our new assembly line is seven inches too low. Your job is to fix it."

The employee's head is clamped in a machine. A factory worker is using his legs as a lever with which to operate the machine. The employee thinks, "I'm living for the weekend."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CATBERT THE EVIL DIRECTOR OF HUMAN RESOURCES AM 1 FIRED?

I'D NEVER FIRE YOU FOR MAKING UNFLATTERING COMMENTS TO THE PRESS ABOUT THE REALLY? EVERYONE SAID YOU'RE EVIL.

HELLO.

HEADCOUNT.

HEH, HEH, THANK YOU.

BUT ALL I'M DOING IS TRANSFERRING YOU TO A NEW JOB.

NO, NO, NO..

GEE, THAT DOESN'T SOUND 50 BAD.

WHAT IS IT?

COMPANT.

OUR NEW ASSEMBLY LINE IS SEVEN INCHES TOO LOW. YOUR JOB IS TO FIX IT.

I'M LIVING FOR THE WEEKEND.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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