Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 22nd June 2003

Dilbert//5181, first published 23 years ago on Sunday 22nd June 2003

Tags

performance review denial anger bargaining depression acceptance trash talking lunch objectives glowing email 7 stages psychology

Official transcript

Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time."

Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!"

Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!"

Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?"

Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp."

Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway."

Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit."

Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

SEVEN STAGES OF A PERFORMANCE REVIEW IT'S TIME.

DENIAL WHAT THE...? THESE AREN'T EVEN MY OBJECTIVES!

ANGER WHO SAID THESE THINGS ABOUT ME?!

BARGAINING WHAT IF I MAKE SOMEONE WRITE A GLOWING EMAIL ARIT MES DEPRESSION MORALE SLIPPING AWAY... HAIR..

50... LIMP.

ACCEPTANCE WHATEVER. THERE'S NO BUDGET FOR RAISES ANYWAY.

TRASH-TALKING ...WOOL-COVERED PILE OF IGNORANT MONKEY SPIT.

LUNCH A FALAFEL WOULD HIT THE SPOT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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